Title: This I Give to You

By Rhonda

Summary: Estel remembers a special day

Pookums1971@aol.com  

 

Estel sat on the bed, his small feet dangling over the side. Today was the anniversary of his Ada's wife leaving Middle Earth and sailing to Valinor. Usually the day was filled with great sorrow and three elves who only left their rooms for mealtime. Estel, even at twelve years old, understood their pain. He, too, had lost someone close to him, his parents, though the others would see Celebrian again someday.

Estel had been planning this for sometime now and had hidden the gifts from his Ada and the others. No other time had he ever been able to keep a secret this long. Jumping from his bed even before anyone came to get him, he rushed down the stairs to breakfast.

As he walked in, his suspicions were solidified. There at the table sat Elrond and his brothers, heads down, tears barely held back. Even Erestor and Glorfindel seemed sullen. Estel sat down, finished his meal quickly, and then asked to be excused.

"I want you to be back inside before dark, Estel."   Estel shook his head and ran quickly out the door before his Ada realized he had not asked where Estel was going.

Running first to the stables, Estel did not lead his horse out, but instead climbed the rafters inside and retrieved the small item that lay atop them. Tucking it securely in his bag, he ran out the door and over to the gardens that lay beyond the house. No one ever ventured back here anymore, for it had been the Lady Celebrian's private garden and held too many painful memories. After finishing his task, Estel ran back to the stables. Leading his horse out, he jumped atop him and slung the satchel over his back.

Two hours later, he left the safety of Imladris and slowed his horse. Dismounting, he waited, but it was not long before a blond elf jumped down from the tree above him.   "Legolas! You have scared me almost into the Halls of Mandos."

"Forgive me, Estel. I did not mean to frighten you," he said, but the smile creeping over his face said otherwise.

"You shall pay for that tomorrow. Did you bring it?"

"Of course I did. You do not think they would simply have let me have it if  your letter had not arrived a month ago requesting it."

Estel snickered. "Yes, I believe you would have been full of arrows before you made it more than a few feet. I must hurry back before Ada realizes I have left Imladris."

"I shall take my leave of you then," Legolas said, turning to go.

"Are you not coming to join us?"

"I do not wish to intrude on family."

"Legolas, you are family!  Do not be silly."

With a smile between them, the lanky twelve year old boy and the blonde elf took off in the direction of Imladris. For hours they worked together preparing for the evening and, when it finally came, Estel was exhausted. Going back inside, both got cleaned up and raced down to dinner.

The salutations were cut short as the mood once again turned somber in the room. Estel was getting anxious, wanting to hurry the meal along so that they could convene to the Hall of Fire. Soon, the scrapping of his Ada's chair alerted the others and they too followed suit, joining him for songs, but when they stepped into the Hall of Fire there was no one there.

Even in his saddened state, Elrond recognized room's darkness and his eyebrowsot up.  "Where is everyone tonight, the minstrels, the others?"

"I sent them away, Ada," Estel said from just inside the doorway.

"Estel, why would you do this?" Elrond asked, as he and the twins stared at the small boy. When Estel showed no signs of revealing the answer, they looked to Legolas. The sindarin elf put his hands up.

"I have been sworn to secrecy, milord."

Elrond was about to question him further when the sound of Estel clearing his voice made him turn.

"Ada, Dan, Ro, if you will all have a seat, I will explain.' 

When the three of them took their seats, Estel came to the center of the room, while Legolas ushered in Erestor and Glorfindel.

"Today has been a day of sorrow for far too long. Ada, the love of your life left and sailed away -- your mother Dan, Ro -- but she should not be mourned, for she still lives and waits for you over the sea. Knowing this, I have prepared a gift for you all that I hope you enjoy."

Elrond wanted to throttle Estel. This day was reserved for his Celebrian, what did Estel know about his pain? He loved the child, but Estel had no idea the anguish this day brought.  He would be sure to speak about punishment later.

Estel left the room and came back in carrying something under a cloth.  He then walked to Erestor. "To you, Erestor, I give this book."

"I thank you, Estel, but why have you given me this book?"

"Grandmother said you have never been without one, and this one was left here by Lady Celebrian. It is the history of Middle Earth, and I would be honored to learn of it from you."

Erestor bowed his head before the child could see his tears, and Estel walked to Glorfindel. Pulling a string from his pocket, he handed it to the balrog slayer.

"To you, Glorfindel, I give this mighty gift."

Glorfindel stared down at the string and noticed that it was not string at all, but the hair of a horse woven in a strand. "I do not understand, Estel?" he said, staring into the eyes of the child.

"Celebrian was brought home on the steed of Elladan, but her horse returned to Lothlorien. This is from one of her lineage. The horse awaits you in the stables. May she always lead you back home, to safety and to those who love you."

Glorfindel found he could not hold back the tear that escaped, and he wrapped Estel in a hug. Finally freeing himself from Glorfindel's grasp, Estel walked over to the three remaining people in the room. All three of them sat in shock.

"Elladan, I thought long and hard about your gift, and I hope it pleases you."

Gesturing to Legolas, he had the sindarin elf pull from his scabbard not his daggers, but an elven sword with an ebony handle. Placing it in Elladan's hand, he saw the odd look his brother gave him.

"I give to you, Elladan, this sword. It was once your naneth's, broken at the tip, but I had the elven smiths fix it. She, I recall you saying, was a mighty foe in battle. May this remind you of the strong warrior she was."

Turning it over in his hand, Elladan could see Celebrian's name and his own etched into the blade in elvish. Grabbing Estel into a hug, he whispered his gratitude to him before tears overcame him.

Estel was now starting to mist up as he walked over to Elrohir.

"Elrohir, I am afraid your gift awaits us outside."

All the occupants of the room got up and followed Estel outside.  When he turned the corner to go beyond the eastern wall, they all gasped. No one had been back there since Celebrian had sailed. Estel looked back and saw that everyone had stopped in their tracks and walked back. Taking Elrohir's hand in his own, he lead him on, and the others following. Expecting to see the small garden overgrown, all were surprised to see that the entire garden was alive and in bloom. Estel turned to Elrohir.

"No one loved the simple things in life as much as you. To you, I give back a piece of your mother by way of her garden," and Elrohir's eyes followed to where Estel was pointing. There among the many blooms sat the small sapling of a mallorn tree.

"Estel... How?"

"I sent for it from Grandmother. You once said Celebrian smelled like the flowers she tended in her garden. Now you can sit and remember her in this special place."

Elrohir nodded his head and then fell to his knees, running his hand over the small statues of he and Elladan as elflings with their mother. So perfect a gift, he thought.

No one had noticed Legolas slip out during the tears, but Estel turned next to his father. What he saw made his heart skip a beat.  His father, his protector of bad dreams, had tears rolling down his face. Reaching up, Estel wiped away the tears with his small hand and stared into his Ada's eyes.

"You, Ada, have given me everything I could ever need. You have given me shelter, food, and clothed me. You have treated me with nothing but respect, and for that I thank you.  But most importantly, you made me your son. Ada, I have thought long and hard about your gift, about what would please you most, and I know it would be to see Celebrian one more time, if only for a moment, to hold her in your arms, to place one more kiss upon her brow. So to you, Ada, I give this."

All around them, they now noticed the missing minstrels from earlier, who started to play the song Elrond and Celebrian had danced to at their wedding, and from around the corner stepped Galadriel, dressed in one of Celebrian's gowns.  She walked up to Elrond and took his hand in hers.

"You gave my daughter much more than children, you gave her love, and I know she awaits you and your love over the sea. For now, will you have this dance with me?"

Elrond choked back the sob and took her hand, leading her in the graceful dance. Elladan and Elrohir watched, tears cascading down their faces, as Erestor and Glorfindel stood in awe of Galadriel's beauty.When the song ended there ,was much crying, and Elrond gathered Estel into his lap.

"You have amazed me with your gifts. I have known since the day you were born that you were special, but I shall never forget this day. Thank you, Estel, for reminding me that today should be a day that is not mourned."

Estel hugged his father, but then wiggled free from his grasp.

"Where are you off to, Estel?"

"I have one more gift to give, Ada, but I shan't be long."

Running past Elrohir and Elladan, and even Legolas, who stood over to the side of the family, Estel ran to his room, grabbed the item from under his pillow, and ran back to the waiting elves. All watched as he walked up to Legolas, and the Mirkwood elf looked at him, puzzled.

"Do not think I have forgotten you, Legolas. You have given me friendship, and your love, as well. Whenever I was alone, you came and gave me a playmate.  You dried many tears and chased away many demons in the night."

Legolas watched as Estel handed to him a small brown teddy bear. "Estel?" he said questioningly.

"We all here have lost our mother, and you, too, have lost yours. I have Ada and Dan and Ro to help me when you are not here. This is for you, Legolas. My mother gave it to me, and now I am giving it to you. May you know that I am there now to chase away the demons that haunt you in the night. Now you will never be alone again."

Legolas broke down and sobbed. Never had he dreamed or thought to tell anyone of his nightmares. How had Estel known? But when he looked into the eyes of the adan child staring back, he knew. They were the eyes of one who had shared his pain and had given to him the ultimate gift -- love.

 

Title: Needs

Summary: Estel and Legolas take one last journey.

 

 

The roads of Minias Tirith were barren, for no man walked them, no merchant shop was open, for all were mourning the ill health of their king. Elessar was even now lying in the Halls of Healing, dying.

 

"Legolas," came the whisper from the bed.

 

The elf still did not turn to face his friend. When he heard the pleading in the voice again, he knew he could not ignore it. Slowly his eyes came to meet those of his friend. Both were damp with the tears that they had shed.

 

"Legolas, will you honor my wishes?"

 

"Estel, I cannot take you away from your kingdom, your people. Estel you are not well."

 

Estel sighed, and tried to ignore the weariness draining his body. Lifting himself into a sitting position he reached out to clasp the slender hand in his wrinkled one.

 

"Legolas, this I beg of you. I am too proud to die here, hovered over by healers. Let me ride with you again to those places we went as children."

 

Knowing in his heart that he could not deny Estel this last wish, Legolas helped him to stand, and they packed swiftly to depart.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Estel sagged upon the horse chosen for him, but his heart felt lighter knowing he was going to be with Legolas, that they were going to relive the past, and visit places he had not seen in many years. They had barely left Minias Tirith when Estel began to cough, his lungs desperately seeking the wonderful intake of air they could not seem to grasp.

 

"Estel!" Legolas screamed, jumping from his own horse and running to where Estel sat struggling.

 

"Estel, how can I help?"

 

Estel shooed the hands away from him, and finally sat up again breathing in the short breaths.

 

"I am fine now Legolas. Please let us go on. I wish not to delay any longer."

 

For two days they rode onward, Legolas' constant worry starting to tear apart his heart. As the moonlight began to glow off in the distance Estel could just make out the top of a building.

 

"Legolas, it is as I remember it. The Golden Hall of Meduseld still stands. Long has it been since my eyes have seen it."

 

The two friends searched all through Edoras and even had a drink of ale with the descendents of Eomer. It was like they had never left, but soon the days activities had taken their toll on Estel, and he fell fast asleep.

 

The next morning they departed, and headed out again. They came across Lothlorien in the next few days and Estel was glad to see the Golden Woods. His strength had begun to fail him, and he knew it would not be much longer before he would leave this world behind him.

 

As they walked through the mallorn trees, Estel longed to hear the elven voices in song, but as it had long ago been left to the elements, Estel only heard silence. He glanced to the tree where he had proclaimed his love for Arwen, and to the many places he had sat watching Eldarion in play.

 

As if sensing Estel's distress Legolas began singing. It was the Lay of Luthien for he knew it was Estel's favorite, and soon the frown that had deepened the adan's face disappeared.

 

"I recall the look on Pippin's face as Galadriel caught him trying to drink the water from her basin," Estel said, a laugh forming in his chest.

 

"He didn't, did he?"

 

At the vigorous nod from Estel, Legolas' mouth dropped open in shock.

 

"The Lady Galadriel did not kill him instantly for this?"

 

"Nay, she did not kill him, but do you recall the elven robe he slept in that night?"

 

"I do recall him being in the attire of the elves. I had asked him then, but he refused to answer."

 

"Well since he is no longer here, it is safe to say that his own clothes were soiled the moment his eyes caught sight of Grandmother glowing that awful green color."

 

He and Legolas sat there for many hours, talking about times past, laughing about the antics of Pippin and Merry, and sombering at all the friends they had lost.

 

Estel laid down under the same tree he and Arwen had pledged their love to one another. He knew his time was growing shorter each day, but he would not falter before he laid eyes on Imladris again. King Thranduil was to meet them there, in two days time. Estel just hoped he had two days left.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

The travel had become burdensome. Estel's chest heaved just to draw in air, but he would speak nothing of it to Legolas.

 

Legolas knew Estel was suffering, struggling, but he also knew his pride would refuse any help. He could do nothing but watch, and try to swipe the tears rolling down his face before Estel saw them.

 

"Estel, do you see it off in the distance?"

 

Estel looked to where Legolas was pointing and saw nothing, but he knew he was almost home. He could feel the woods welcoming him, and he was almost sure he could hear the trees speaking to him.

 

"We can stop just ahead for the night, and we will reach Imladris by noonday tomorrow."

 

As Legolas turned to help Estel from his horse he saw the look his friend gave him. Staring at him were gray eyes, filled with the pain of remembering, but also ones of renewal.

 

"We cannot linger here Legolas. I must get home soon, for I wish to lay my eyes upon it and I cannot rest until I do."

 

Legolas saw the paleness of his features, the color slowly draining away, and taking his life with it. His heart clinched, but he knew Estel was determined to get to Imladris, and he would help him.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Estel's horse slowed as it entered the courtyard, and before he fell from it Legolas was there. Grabbing Estel, and placing his arm around him, Legolas helped him to walk into the Last Homely House.

 

The halls once alive with the bickering of the twins, and the constant muttering from Erestor were now silent. No Glorfindel coming for lessons, no Elladan trying to sneak into the young maidens room, and yet Estel could see them all as if they still remained. The smile did not leave his face, until he stepped into the darkened study. Here was were he spent many nights, curled in his Ada's lap. It was here he fell asleep, not knowing when Thranduil picked him and Legolas up, carrying them to bed as if they were children again.

 

Legolas awoke with a start. The room was dark, but he could see the outline of his father sitting by the fire. His face was as youthful as ever, but his eyes held the worry of many years.

 

"Ada?" Legolas whispered.

 

Thranduil turned and walked over to where his son laid. Taking a seat next to him he waited for Legolas to speak.

 

"Ada, I have worried we would not make it. Estel is here, but he came here to die and I do not know if I can watch it. I can't lose him Ada, I simply cannot."

 

Thranduil held Legolas as he cried all the tears he had refused to let fall in front of Estel. Legolas had been nothing but a broken shell before he and Estel had met, and afterwards Thranduil had seen him return to his vibrant self. The death of his mother had been hard on Legolas, and he had pent up all his grief and anger inside. It had been one stormy night when Thranduil had seen the then ten year old Estel run to the screaming Legolas, comforting him. That night secrets had been revealed. Estel had spoken of losing his parents, and Legolas finally told someone his fears.

 

"Legolas, my son, Estel shall need you in the end."

 

The tears now threatened to choke him. "I can't watch him die Ada, or I will follow. How can I go on without him? He is my friend."

 

Both jumped when they heard the reply come from Estel's bed.

 

"Nay Legolas you are my brother. You have been there when my son was born, you were there when I married, and now I wish nothing more than you to be here when I leave this world. Please do not fret. My parents, and your naneth shall watch over me."

 

"Estel," Legolas said, burying his head beside his friend. "I have seen too much death, to see yours will surely kill me."

 

Thranduil watched Estel beg Legolas to go on without him, but deep down he knew his son would be the same elf he saw after his wife's death so long ago. He feared he would again be waiting for his slow decline into death. Sitting down on the bed, he pulled Legolas into his lap and stroked his hair and rocked him. A decision had been made.

 

The night was fading away to the sunlight. The rays were just now peeking through the window, and as its rays fell on Estel and Legolas' face, they appeared to be angelic. Thranduil knew his time would be today, the trees had spoke of it. Sighing he waited for them to waken.

 

Estel was the first to stir, and when he tried to move his head, he saw the blond head lying next to his on the pillow. His slight movement brought Legolas to the waking world. Blinking back the sleep from his eyes, he waited for Estel to speak.

 

Estel was trying to tell Legolas something, but the words caught in his throat. He could feel the pull of darkness trying to grasp at him, but he knew he wanted to speak to Legolas one last time.

 

"Legolas," he choked out. This brought Legolas closer to his side.

 

"I would never change a thing. You have been my friend for many years, my confidant, the person who stood by my side in battle, and in tears. Know I regret nothing my brother."

 

Estel clasped Legolas' hand in his tightly and the last words fell from his lips. "I love you Legolas, good bye my brother," and then Estel drifted off into the eternal dream.

 

The wails from Legolas could be heard throughout the valley of Imladris, and as he laid his head on Estel, he could feel the darkness trying to creep into his heart. He could not accept it. Estel was gone. When his father's hand came to rest on his shoulder, Legolas looked up to see the tears rolling down his face. This was a strange sight indeed for his father had not cried since the passing of his naneth. Legolas wanted to comfort him, but his grief held him at bay.

 

Thranduil engulfed his son in his arms, breathing in the scent of lavender on his clothes, and wiping away the stray tears from his face, before bringing his gaze to meet his. What he saw there justified what he was about to do. In his son's eyes he saw the same emptiness he had seen centuries before.

 

"Go to him Legolas, go to him and be at peace. He and your mother await you. I love you, but your place is with him now."

 

As he watched Legolas, he saw his son release all holds he had on his physical body, and soon Thranduil sat with his son in his arms. He was gone, but Estel had needed him more.