The Weaving cow
By Cactuskim
kim@flash.net Please feel free to review.
Rating: G
Dedication
I would
like to dedicate this story to
Hannon-le Mellon-nin!
Disclaimer
I own
nothing of Middle earth or any of Tolken’s worlds or characters. Yes, that means that Legolas and Aragorn do
not belong to me. I have made several offers to buy them, but the good
professor just rolls over in his grave… *Sigh* He just doesn’t understand me!
I have no
permission to use these characters, and I’m receiving no money for this story…
Like anyone would pay me for this rubbish! LOL.
This story
was written for enjoyment only… Probably mine more than yours *wink*.
I would
like to thank
This story
also contains references to some of their stories, The Mellon Chronicles,
especially Stars of Harad. I think that it is possible to read and enjoy this
story without first reading those stories, but they are so fantastic, that I
highly recommend them anyways.
Summary
This story
starts Post ROTK, when Aragorn’s son is only ~4 years old. It then jumps back in time to when Aragorn
was still young and is returning from Harad with Legolas who had tracked him to
Harad (Having to disguise himself as human and travel
with some rather unsavory types in the process) and helped to rescue him there.
It is a long Journey home afterwards and this is just a bit of fun that
happened along the way.
So, on with
the insanity!
The Weaving Cow
By Cactuskim
The dappled sunlight softly
filtered thru the trees casting a soft glow over the secluded glade while glimmering
rainbow hues danced in the shimmering mist from the nearby falls. The song of
the trees blended with the music of the cascading waters, lending their harmony
to the sound of Elven laughter.
They were gathered around
the remains of a picnic, enjoying the last of the wine and watching in amusement
as a small child splashed in the nearby stream snatching at the darting silver
forms beneath the surface. Dari was
having a wonderful time… they all were.
“He may not have your skill
at that Trelan, but I think that his enthusiasm out matches even yours” Legolas
leaned against a fallen log looking at both his friends and the boy with
dancing eyes. “Perhaps you would like to join him?”
Trelan laughed and swirled
his near full wine glass. “Perhaps when I am finished.”
“After you are finished, you
will have even less skill than him” Raniean chuckled receiving a light cuff
from his smaller friend.
“Just don’t let Estel try to
show him how to spear fish with one of the arrows.” Elladan quipped with a
sideways look at his twin, “We all know how that turned out.”
Aragorn looked up from where he laid in the
grass with smirk on his face, “As I recall, it was you dear brother who ended
up in the water that day, not I.”
“He’s right you know,”
Elrohir grinned at Elladan “You were the first one in that day.”
“Well, Perhaps I should
rectify that past error” With a wicked gleam in his eyes Elladan
started to rise, only to be stopped suddenly as Elrohir reached over and deftly
captured his wine glass.
“You go ahead and teach him
a lesson” He laughed, “and I will finish this off for you”
Elladan instantly dropped
down again, retrieving his wayward glass and clutching it possessively.
The laughter that erupted
was enough to cause Dari to pause and look up at his elders, but could not
distract him long from his task.
“Thank You Elrohir” Legolas
chuckled, “Once they get going, there is no telling what kind of trouble they
will drag me into next… Especially that Ranger.”
“Me!” Aragorn swatted
lightly at his friend. “I think that you have things a bit backwards, It is
*You* Mellon-nin who is always dragging *Me* into things.”
“Dragging you out of or home
again afterwards perhaps,” Legolas said with a look of false piety on his fair
face, “but it is you who starts it.”
Aragorn was laughing openly
now as were the others. “I seem to recall dragging you out of trouble on many
occasions my dear innocent Prince.”
Legolas’ eyes sparkled with mischief as he tried to stare
them all down. “Just because I have been in trouble, does not mean that it was
my fault… I do not start things!”
The glade was immediately filled
with a cacophony of merry voices all lifted up in an effort to refute such an
outrageous statement even if it was meant in jest. They called out one story
after another as Legolas gaily pointed
out how the trouble had all really been caused by others and using some very
‘Creative Logic’ in some cases.
“What about you bringing
home a warg cub you found in the woods and wanting to keep it as a pet” Raniean
happily pointed out. “The whole palace
was in an up roar. I will never forget the
look on you father’s face as he was trying to explain why you couldn’t keep it
and all the time you are petting it! I
thought that he was going to be sick.”
“I remember that look too!”
Legolas Snickered “I used to tease him when he would complain about my Ketrals and tell him that if he had let me keep the Warg, I
would never have started keeping Ketrals.”
“That one doesn’t count
though, because I was only 6 at the time and I thought that I had found a
puppy… an extremely ugly puppy, but still a puppy. I was too young to know better. Besides, *Who* helped me carry it home?”
Raniean helplessly shrugged
and smiled “I was no older that you, and its eyes weren’t even open yet” he glanced
up at the others, “We felt sorry for it!... It really was ugly though.”
Aragorn was wide eyed, “Valar!
However did you get your hands on a Warg cub without getting killed?!”
“That is what my father kept
asking!” Legolas laughed.
“How do you explain getting
arrested in Strayton for River stealing and chicken thieving?” Elrohir intoned with a Wink at his twin.
Trelan sputtered and choked
on his wine at this, “Chicken Thieving?!”
“Oh, *This* should be good,”
Raniean Chuckled with a mock bow. “Hir-nin.” //my lord//
Legolas Tossed his half finished
apple at the incorrigible pair of Silvan elves and glowered at the twins. “The
Earthquake diverted the river and a lot of superstitious towns folk over
reacted, as you both know full well… Nobody
stole the river! ” Turning with a teasing look at his human friend he added. “
Besides, I was not the only one arrested.”
“Yes, but who stole the
chickens?!” Trelan giggled.
“You Nift! Nobody stole any chickens!” Legolas groaned. “Raniean,
do something with him!”
Trelan quickly ducked his
head down into his arms to avoid the swat aimed his way, but he could still be
heard chuckling “My prince the chicken thief!”
“You know Mellon-nin,”
Aragorn eyed the elf prince with an impish glint in his eyes, “I never really counted those chickens before
I fell asleep in that barn… You didn’t do anything while I was sleeping did
you?”
“Strider!” Legolas growled. “You
are impossible!” He glanced over at
Trelan who was now laughing so hard that he was having trouble breathing and
rolled his eyes, “Now Look what you’ve started this time.”
“Oh no you don’t, I didn’t
start that one, El did!” Aragorn exclaimed. Then he smiled slyly at his friend.
“At least I can enter a tavern without causing a brawl.”
Legolas fixed his friend
with a look of mock distain, “I do not cause brawls.”
Aragorn chuckled “Oh
really? That is not what I heard… What
about that time in the Drunken Goblin?”
“I did not start that, I
just finished it” Legolas smirked.
“Umm… So you say, but that is
not what I over heard Talaft and Lur saying.”
Legolas snorted, “Talaft and
Lur were not even there!”
“No, but apparently they
heard quite a few stories about you from Seobryn’s men.” The former ranger
chuckled at the elf, “Face it my friend, even without knowing you were an elf
you did tend to stand out there; not a lot of tall blondes in Harad you know,
people were bound to talk.”
“Second hand gossip from a
band of ruffians relayed by *those* two?! I have been maligned you can’t
believe a word of it.” Legolas sniffed disdainfully
“Perhaps Mellon-nin,” and
now Aragorn fixed Legolas with triumphant smile, “But that does not explain
what happened at the Weaving Cow.”
“Strider!” Legolas growled, “That
was not my fault! Besides…”
“Not your fault?!” Aragorn
exclaimed sitting up and giving the elf a playful shove “Legolas, You forget
that I was there! Everything was fine
and then all of a sudden you scream and start throwing over tables…”
“The tables were an
accident” Legolas defended.
“And that shrill scream?”
Aragorn grinned.
“I did not Scream, shrill or
otherwise!” Sputtered the prince.
“OK, Shout, yell or perhaps…
Squeak?” Aragorn laughed openly at the glair that Legolas was turning on him,
“Call it what you will, it was loud and *Very* high pitched”
Legolas flushed and tried to
look aloof and unconcerned. “You exaggerate Human besides, this is hardly the
time or place and it would be of little interest to the others.”
To Legolas’ consternation,
the instant clamor that arose from the others who had until that moment been
watching the two friends cryptic banter in relative quiet, belied that notion.
“On the contrary Mellon-nin,
I think that now is the perfect time, unless you would like to admit defeat and
concede that you did start the brawl?”
Aragorn was counting on Legolas’ pride and competitive nature to prevent
him from backing down and keep him from recounting the event.
Legolas was trapped, and he
knew it. Even if he did concede, too
much had already been said. The rest of
his friends would never let it go. “Very
well Strider, go ahead and tell them.” he grudgingly agreed, “but, It was *Not*
my fault.”
Aragorn grinned widely at
Legolas who was now almost squirming. He
knew there was something that Legolas had never told him about this and he had
a feeling that he just might finally discover what it was…This was going to be
fun!
“We were on our way back
from Harad, about half way between Near Harad and southern Gondor
and we lost our baggage in a river…”
“You lost it not me! See, it was all your fault!” Legolas interjected in a last effort to
circumvent fate.
“I am hardly responsible for
falling when the embankment collapsed.” Aragorn countered. “Good try Legolas.”
“Besides, Estel always
falls.” Elladan chuckled.
“It is like a law of nature, definitely not
his fault.” His twin finished rolling swiftly out of the way of the Sticky
honey roll that flew past his head.
“Do not insult the story
teller if you want to hear the story” Aragorn intoned in his most dignified and
regal manner, an effect that was hopelessly ruined by the fact that he was
licking the honey off of his fingers.
“Now, where was I…?”
*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#
…the mud was moving.
The small rabbit froze
watching it flail about and curse as it came ashore. It was uncertain if this
new phenomenon was a threat or not, but before it could make up its mind, it
spotted an elf running towards it and bolted into the sparse undergrowth.
“Estel! Are you alright!” He called out in concern which soon turned to
mirth as he took in the sight before him.
Legolas’ laughter floated
upon the hot afternoon air contrasting with the angry string of Dwarvish
emanating from the very annoyed Ranger.
“Do I *Look* alright?!” he
snapped trying to wipe the mud out of his eyes with very limited success.
“It is about what I would
expect for a filthy human.” The prince quipped, ducking the mud that was flung
his way in response.
“Prissy Elf.” He growled,
trying to take another step forward and almost falling when the thick mire
sucked at his Boot almost pulling it off. “Are you going to help me out of
here, or not?”
“That depends.” Chuckled the
elf as he lightly stepped across the top of the muddy surface much like he
would snow, “Are you going to keep your filth to yourself?”
“I promise not to try and
throw you in, or throw any more mud at you, but I am not responsible for
anything that may rub off in the process.”
The ranger smiled up and grudgingly gave his word then softly muttered
under his breath, “And that could be a lot.”
“I heard that! Behave yourself, or you are on you own
Strider.” Legolas warned as he reached out and grabbed hold of his very slimy
friends arm and started pulling, but it was to no avail.
Aragorn’s long heavy leather
coat which was tied around his waist was
so deeply buried that he could not lean forward enough to get the leverage to
pull himself free even with the help of the elf. It was in fact because of the
coat that he was stuck in this mess to begin with.
The two friends had been
walking along the river’s edge all morning and as the day heated up, Aragorn
had stopped to remove the heavy garment.
He had just finished strapping on his sword again and tying the coat
around his waist when it happened. He reached
for his pack and the embankment that he was standing on gave away, plunging him
and his pack into the water.
He was swept down river
about a quarter mile before he saw a break in the otherwise steep banks of the
river only to be washed up onto this infernal patch of mud, where the river turned sharply and the silt had been acuminating in a low
break on the shore of the watercourse.
His pack however, being a
rather poor swimmer had immediately sunk to the bottom.
“This is hopeless!” Legolas grumbled while trying
to blow a loose strand of golden hair out of his face, “Untie your coat and
hand it to me.” Without the Ranger attached to it, Legolas was able to pull it
free and throw it up onto dry land along with his sword and scabbard.
“Now loosen the ties on your
boots if you can get to them and step out of them.” he instructed next.
Aragorn had to bend down and
shove his hands blindly down his legs past the thigh high silt and slime almost
shoving his face back down into it and grimacing at the distasteful sensation.
Legolas could not contain his mirth at the picture before
him of his friend bent forward in the mud almost up to his shoulders, with his
back side stuck in the air trying to get his boots off. “Do not get stuck in
that position Estel, it is decidedly undignified especially for the future
King.” He snickered.
Aragorn glared at his companion
and was about to retort, when he sprawled backwards in the mud having finally
gotten his boot off.
Reaching down into the mire
he pulled it free and threw it up to land at the elf’s feet splattering his
boots with mud. “Oops, Accident!” He smiled with false sincerity before going
to work on the next one.
He finally pulled the second
one free and it along with the first one, joined his
coat.
Still unable to pull free of
the grasping quagmire, he looked up in frustration at the tall elf standing
easily atop the mess and laughing down at him. “Well?! Are you going to help me?... or do you want me to keep stripping?” he said
with a smirk.
Legolas’ eyes widened in a
look of false alarm. “Oh Valar No! Not that!” He laughed and reached down
grabbing the back of Aragorn’s belt in one hand and his upper arm in the other
while fixing him with a mischievous grin. “I think just a bit of crawling will
do.”
“Oh fine, have your fun
then.” Aragorn chuckled as with the
additional support, he was finally able to pull free and do a combined walk,
crawl and slither out of the mud.
On firm ground at last, he
flopped down on his back in exhaustion looking over at his friend who was
fastidiously wiping the mud off of his hands on a small patch of grass before
rinsing them off with some water from his water bottle. He then surveyed his current state and
groaned “I need a bath!”
“Really? I hadn’t noticed.”
Snickered the elf as he rose and nudged the Ranger’s mud sodden coat with the
toe of his boot looking sidelong at his friend. “What do we do with this?...
Bury it?”
Aragorn rolled quickly to
his feet possessively snatching up his coat and boots “There is nothing wrong
with my coat!” he grumbled. “We will back track to those rocky shallows that we
camped near last night and I can bathe and clean it up there.”
“Go back there?” queried the
elf. “Estel, we will lose a whole days travel if we go back. I’m sure that we can
find a suitable place if we continue on our way.” He gently argued.
“Actually Legolas, The
shallows *are* on our way.” He chuckled at the confused look on the elf’s face.
“In case you didn’t notice, I lost my pack. If we go back I can pickup supplies
at that Town we passed about 5 miles down stream of the shallows.”
Legolas frowned at his companion as he remembered the dusty
shabby looking place. “Is it really necessary?
We still have my pack and hunting has been reasonably good around here.”
He added hopefully.
“Yes Mellon-nin, it is. Without my pack I am literally down to the
clothes on my back which are far too light weight for the weather we will
encounter as we travel north and although *you* can wear my clothes, I can not fit into yours.” Aragorn stated
firmly. “Besides, it is going to take a lot of Oil to restore this coat and I
don’t think that small jar that you carry for your bow will do the job.” he
noted with wry amusement.
Legolas could not refute his friend’s logic, nor could he
refrain from smiling as the image of Aragorn trying to squeeze into one of his
close fitting tunic’s flitted across his mind. He sighed in resignation and
started to pull out the plain tan tunic and cloth strips that he had used to
disguise himself while posing as a sharp shooter in Harad. “Very well Strider, since
it is a matter of saving your coat, how can I refuse?” he snickered as he
started to wrap the cloths around his head to hide the delicate points of his
ears.
Aragorn grinned holding up
his coat “Glad to see that you can finally recognize a fine thing!”
As they started to walk
brusquely south again, Aragorn glanced over at his friend who had now finished
transforming himself. “Legolas, I have been meaning to ask you, Where did you
get that?” He gestured at the very simple rather drab tunic that the elf had
donned with an impish glint in his eyes.
“It’s so… common looking.”
“You are one to talk!” the prince snorted as
he shoved the Ranger, gaining a hand full of mud in the process. “It is supposed
to look ‘common’. I bought it when I was
traveling south with Seobryn’s men looking for you if you must know. It had turned very hot and continuing to wear
that nasty coat of yours was starting to look suspicious. So I picked this up at one of those disreputable
excuses for a town that they seemed to favor so much… A bit like the one you are probably dragging
me off to now I imagine.” He said with a grimace as his mind wandered back to
that time.
Traveling amongst Humans
while disguised as one had been difficult for Legolas. It had been hard to navigate the unfamiliar
experiences without giving himself away due to his ignorance over some of the
most simple aspects of the foreign culture. Though he had learned to blend in,
he had come away with more questions than answers. Now heading back into this
confusing environment, many of the old questions came to mind.
“Strider?... What do those
red lanterns in the windows of some establishments mean?” …
***********************************************
The heat and humidity of the
day had not waned despite the setting of the sun as the two friends traversed
the dusty streets in the early dusk. They came to a sudden stop in front of one
of the largest buildings in town. A large
garish sign out front proudly dubbed it “The Weaving Cow”.
It was not the size of the
establishment that had stopped them, nor the generally run down and seedy
appearance. It was something else.
“Valar Strider, What’s that
smell!” Legolas hissed while wrinkling his nose in distaste. Entering these closed in crowded
establishments was always a bit of a shock to the elf’s sensitive senses, but
this was something different. They had not yet climbed the steps to the front door
and yet the odor had hit him like a physical presence. Glancing sidelong at his
companion, he could see that Aragorn was equally affected… His eyes were
watering.
Aragorn was taking shallow
breaths and trying to discreetly cover his nose and mouth in an unsuccessful
attempt to guard against the pungent assault. “I have no idea mellon-nin. Let us gather our supplies as quickly as we
can and go.” He said as he started to ascend the steps.
Legolas quickly grasped his
arm pulling him back whispering urgently his eyes making a desperate plea. “We
can not go in there! If it smells like
this from out here, can you imagine what it must be like inside?!” he looked at
the front of the tavern in confused disbelief. “What could they *doing* in
there?”
Aragorn started to chuckle
at the expression on the elf’s face. “I do not believe that it is coming from
inside the building, I think that it is
actually coming from somewhere else… come, perhaps inside we will actually be
sheltered from it.” he said with a smile while gently pulling Legolas up the
steps behind him. As if in answer to his comments a very slight breeze that had
been missing all day finally arrived almost dissipating the acuminated reek… Almost.
As they entered, they were
struck by two things;
First, the only odors were
the normal ones to be expected in such a place.
A fact that brought a smile to the ranger’s face
and drew a sigh of both resignation and relief from the elf.
The second thing that they
noticed was that it was uncomfortably hot and stuffy inside. This was not
caused solely by the heat of the day, but was also the result of the fact that
every window in the place was tightly shut… they did not have to ask the reason
for the latter.
Aragorn started across the
large main room. Glancing back at the prince with a twinkle in his eyes he
inquired, “Do you want to wait in here with me, or outside in the *fresh air*?”
With a soft snort and a
rueful shake of his head, Legolas chose the least pungent of the options and
followed him. They settled themselves at
a small table at the back, Aragorn with a relaxed grin on his face that spoke
of how much he had missed this and Legolas with a look of long suffering that spoke of how
much he wished that he *Was* missing this.
They were quickly spotted by
the young girl tending to this part of the room who came over with a smile
almost as warm as the room and inquired what they would like to drink. Aragorn
casually ordered the house brew and she then turned to Legolas who had been so
distracted by his environment that he had not acknowledged her arrival. She
looked the slender blonde archer up and down her smile widening “Now what can I
get for you Sweetie” she cooed.
**SWEETIE?!** His head snapped up eyes a bit wide from
surprise at the term, which turned out to be a mistake since it put him at eye
level with her rather low cut and amply filled dress. The bright blush that instantly suffused his
cheeks brought a twitter of amusement from the girl before he could avert his
eyes and choke out “House brew.”
She laughed and returned a
few minuets later with their drinks intentionally bending over a bit further
than she had to as she placed them on the table. “Let me know if there is
*anything* else that I can get you.” She said with a wink and a merry smile
aimed at the Prince. “My name is Himwen.”
She had only gone half way
across the room before Aragorn, looking at the elf’s still glowing cheeks
dissolved into laughter “You seem to have made quite the impression… *Sweetie*.”
He teased. “Would you like me to have
her come over here and keep you company while I go up and get the supplies, or
should I stay and defend your honor?”
He almost fell out of his
chair from the shove he received from the embarrassed elf who
rolled his eyes and dropped his head into his hands. “Strider!” he growled,
“You are incorrigible!”
“I will take that as a no to
both then.” Aragorn chuckled taking another sip from his drink. “Wait here my
friend, I will be right back. I am just
going to go up and get the supplies.”
Legolas watched his friend
cross the room and noticed Himwen and another girl near the bar whispering back
and forth while giggling and casting furtive glances his way. Valar what was it
with them! You would never see elves
behaving like that… well, maybe the whispering and giggling, but elves would never display themselves so and to be so very… Forward! Ai, they were so *Young* even by human
standards. It was disconcerting to receive such attentions from mere children.
He looked down turning his attention once more to his drink as he felt the
color rising once more to his face.
He looked up in relief as he
sensed Aragorn returning, but felt his heart sink when he realized that he
carried no supplies.
The young ranger dropped
onto his seat with a smile at Legolas. “Well, the owner says that he can get
what I need, but it will take him about an hour to gather it up, so you might
as well relax and enjoy your drink.” He then added with a sly glimmer in his
eye, “He will send Himwen over to let us know when it is ready… Nice girl don’t
you think?”
Legolas glared at the ranger
“Are you enjoying yourself?”
“Very much thank you.” He grinned his
silver eyes dancing. “Almost as much as
you enjoyed my little ordeal in the mud this afternoon.” He laughed.
Legolas could not help
smiling as he remembered the reason that they were sitting here now. “I think
that you missed a spot behind your ear.” He teased. Perhaps the evening would
not be such a long one after all.
It was not long before
Legolas noticed with some trepidation that Himwen was headed toward their table. She smiled broadly as she informed them that
the supplies were waiting up by the bar, but did not move off when they thanked
her.
As they stood she stepped
forward and much to Aragorn’s delight and Legolas’ chagrin took the Prince by
the arm tucking it in close to her side while beaming up at him. “Come, I will
show you.” She giggled as she pulled him along.
Almost paralyzed with shock,
Legolas allowed himself to be numbly steered across the room before gently but
firmly disentangling himself upon reaching the bar. He shot a sharp look back at his friend who
was having a bit of difficulty navigating the tables due to the fact that he
was almost staggering in his effort to keep from bursting out in an uncontrolled
fit of laughter. ‘Get me out of here!’ he desperately mouthed at the ranger who
nodded and laid a reassuring hand on the elf’s shoulder as he finally caught up
and turned to pay for the supplies.
Legolas turned and bent down
near the table at the end of the bar where the supplies were stacked and
quickly stuffed the supplies into the new pack. He had just finished and was
about to straighten up and sling the pack over his shoulder, when it happened.
Aragorn spun around at the
high unnatural sound that pierced his ears, only to see Legolas shoot upright
catching the table next to him with his shoulder and sending it tumbling into the next one starting
a cascade effect that up-ended almost a third of the tables in the room.
There was a brief moment of
silence in which Legolas stood frozen in shock with his mouth open staring back
at a room full of hot, beer splattered and now irate men. He could not believe what had just happened!
The next moment they erupted like a swarm of hornets from a nest that has just
been kicked over.
Swiftly moving
to his friend’s side, Aragorn blocked a poorly aimed swing from one inebriated
patron, shoving him into another one and sending them both sprawling. A third one was stopped mid charge by a chair when
Legolas spun and ducked out of the way of someone else swinging it at his head.
Legolas spun and blocked one attack after
another with elven speed and grace, but even with
Aragorn at his back the situation was untenable. The numbers were just too
great. Besides, he really didn’t want to hurt these people. More than half of
the drunken mob were between them and the front door, so there was no escape
that way. He flipped a large bear of a man over his shoulder sending him
careening into three others, pulled Aragorn down and to the side avoiding the
bottle that had been aimed their way and darted off to the right towards the
stairs in the back leading to the upper floors. “We have to get out of here!”
“This is not the way out
Legolas!” Aragorn shouted over his shoulder as he raced up the stairs behind
the elf turning only long enough to kick a man in the chest who had been about
to grab him from behind, knocking him
backwards into the crowd behind him and temporally stemming the angry tide.
They reached the upper
landing and sprinted down the long hallway. Near the end, Legolas found
an unlocked door and they both raced in slamming the door behind them and
throwing the bolt. Aragorn leaned back
against the door trying to catch his breath, while Legolas moved across the
room and peered out the window.
“How long do you think this
door will hold once they find us?” Aragorn asked in exasperation. He had no clue what had just happened down
there.
“Long enough I hope” Legolas
said thru gritted teeth as he tried to open the window which was stuck tight
due to age and disuse. “Help me get this open. I can see a ledge outside, we
can use it to get out of here and hopefully find a way to climb down.”
The window finally gave way
at about the same time that the door to the room they were hidden in shuddered
with the first impact of several drunk and angry bodies. That is when *It* hit
them. The stench was overwhelming almost
causing them to gag. What ever it was, it seemed to be right below this
window. With little choice in the
matter, Aragorn slung his new pack over his shoulder and followed Legolas out
onto the ledge… what there was of it.
It was only about 6 inches
wide and ran the length of the long building.
Because of the way the ground sloped steeply in this area the window
they had come out of was almost 3 stories above the ground, but at the far end
of the building it was only a little over one story high.
Aragorn hugged the wall in
front of him as he carefully sidestepped along the narrow ledge. A feat made all the more difficult by the
fact that he was trying to do it without inhaling. He could make out very
little detail below him in the moonless dark, but it seemed almost as if the
ground below him was moving. Glancing over at Legolas, Aragorn could see that
he too had noticed this and was intently staring down. The Elf looked up at the
ranger with a rueful half smile and softly called to him, “We seem to have
found the source of that horrid odor… Cattle.”
Bellow them, built onto the
back of the tavern was a large cattle pen with almost 100 cattle crowded into
it. Accustomed to the practices of their own people and the smaller communities
around them, they had never experienced what happened when you had so many of
the creatures confined in such a small area.
The smell of the animals combined with the built up waste that had piled
so deep in some places that it had fermented, was a powerful and pungent
combination especially in the heat and humidity that they had had today.
Legolas was dumbfounded! Why
would anyone chose to place something like this so
close to where they lived? Valar, it
reeked! You could repel Orcs with this
stench!
He continued to move along
the ledge frequently glancing back to see if they had been discovered yet. They were about half way to their goal and
still about two stories above the ground, when he heard a sharp crack. Snapping
his head in the direction of the noise, he found himself looking into Aragorn’s
wide silver eyes as he scrambled for a hold on the siding of the building… the
ledge was giving away.
Legolas grabbed for his
friend intending to pull him to a more stable section, but before he could get a good hold of him the whole ledge tore free of the building
sending them both tumbling down.
Aragorn tried to brace
himself for a hard and painful landing in the dark and was shocked when instead;
he landed on something soft and yielding. Although he had landed with enough
force to drive the wind out of his lungs, he was basically unhurt. He had
landed in a heap of partially dried manure that had been piled almost 8 feet
deep against the side of the building.
Turning his head he could
see Legolas laying face down next to him. He rolled to his side and reached for
the elf, but before he could touch him, Legolas scrambled to his knees and
started to retch and cough. “Legolas?
Are you alright?”
Aragorn was uncertain of the
answer to his question despite the resulting vigorous back and forth shaking of
his friend’s head… was he indicating that he was hurt, or just trying to shake
this foul stuff from his face and hair?
Climbing to his feet, he
reached into the small pack that Legolas’ carried and pulled out a small cloth
that he knew his friend kept handy for cleaning his bow. Leaning over the distressed elf he placed a
comforting hand on his back and handed him the cloth.
Quickly snatching the cloth
from the ranger’s hand, Legolas did his best to wipe his face clean. He couldn’t believe that he had just fallen
face down in a huge pile of… He Shuddered. No, he didn’t *Want* to think about it! But
the stuff was everywhere! In his hair,
down his tunic, even up his nose! He Groaned.
It was enough to make him wish to flee to the halls of Mandos, except in his current state he doubted that they would
let him in! He thought wryly.
“Legolas?” Aragorn gently
called.
Legolas climbed unsteadily
to his feet and managed to choke out. “I’ll be alright Estel…” There was a loud
crashing noise which caused the two friends to look up. The door to the room
that they had escaped thru had finally been smashed in and they could hear the
confused and angry shouts as the men tried to figure out where the two friends
had gone. “Come Estel, let us leave this foul place while we still can.”
They wound their way thru
the milling herd as quietly and calmly as possible, keeping low and hoping that
the dim light and slight motion of the cattle would mask their passage from
anyone looking out of the window as they slipped out of a gate at the far side
of the enclosure. As Aragorn was latching the gate he was stopped by a light touch
on his shoulder. “Leave it open Strider,” Legolas quietly intoned, “they should
not be confined like this… Besides,” he added with a sly smile, “It will help
cover our tracks, and give those men something to chaise besides us.”
“My brothers would be proud
of you mellon-nin.” Aragorn softly
chuckled as he quietly propped the gate open.
“Your Brothers are never
going to hear about this Strider!”
Legolas admonished, “Now let’s get out of here.”
They ran swiftly and
silently south out of the town and then cut north heading straight
towards the shallows about 5 miles above town… This time, they *Both* needed a bath.
#*#*#*#*#*#*##*#*#*##*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#
“He was still complaining
about the smell a week later.” Aragorn sniggered as the glade was filed with
the ringing sound of elven laughter.
“I was complaining? Who was it who was scrubbing and oiling his
coat down almost every day for a fortnight?” Legolas laughed and then added
with a smirk, “For all the good it did, it still smells!”
“Mud and Manure!” Trelan
chortled, “I would love to have seen that!”
“As would I…” Elladan
grinned.
“…But only from up wind!”
His twin finished for him with a giggle.
Raniean chuckled and gave
the prince an appraising look, “I had no Idea that you had such *Common* tastes
Hir-nin… Do you still take that Tunic with you when you travel, just for
*special* occasions?” he finished with a mock bow.
Legolas rolled his eyes, and
shook his head. “If you must know, it wouldn’t come clean so I burned it!”
It was several minuets
before the merriment over that last statement died down, but when it finally
did, Aragorn fixed Legolas with a smug smile. “You can not deign this time my
friend, that you unquestionably *did* start this one.”
Legolas scowled at him. “It was not my fault, the tables were an
accident.”
“An accident!” He
exclaimed. “You do not seriously expect
us to believe that you are incapable of standing up without knocking over and
destroying half a room, do you?” Aragorn shook his head in disbelief as the
others laughed and nodded their agreement. “And how do you explain that noise
that you made?” Aragorn said with a grin. Legolas had never explained *That* one to him and he was hoping to finally get an answer.
Legolas Looked at them and
tried to figure a way out of this trap… He could not tell them, but how else to
explain his actions? Even if he conceded that it was his fault, they were never
going to let go of it until they got some sort of explanation for his bizarre actions
that evening….Ai! He could feel the color rising to his cheeks just thinking
about it!
Aragorn noticed the blush
suffusing the elf’s cheeks as he attempted to keep from squirming. It was close
now, he could feel it. “Well…?”
“It was *her* fault!” Legolas muttered.
“Her?” Aragorn queried in
confusion as the others exchanged puzzled glances. “You don’t mean Himwen, that
girl that was so sweet on you do you? … How could she be at fault? She was just standing in the corner behind
you.”
Oh Valar! How was he supposed to put this?! Elves
didn’t do this sort of thing! Finally dropping his burning face down into his
hands he softly gritted out, “She *Pinched* me.”
There was a very brief
moment of stunned silence before they all exploded into raucous laughter.
“She Pinched you?!” Aragorn
gasped thru the tears streaming down his face from laughing so hard. “Oh Mellon-nin,
I had no idea that the situation was so dire!
No wonder you wrecked the place!”
He teased falling over from the push he received from the embarrassed elf.
“Strider!” Legolas growled as
his shoulders started to shake with the suppressed laughter he was holding
back. He gave a start as he felt the gentle touch on his shoulder and looked
back to see Dari gazing at him with a gentle and sympathetic smile on his face.
He had come in on the tail
end of the story and didn’t really understand what was so funny, but he knew
what it felt like to be laughed at. “It’s OK Leg’las,
Naneth pinches my cheek all the time… you don’t have to be embarrassed.” He
comforted in an attempt to make the elf that he was so fond of feel better.
Legolas could not help finally bursting out laughing as he
swept the little boy up in an affectionate hug. “Thank you little one, you are
very wise… which is more than I can say for the rest of you.” He said with a bemused glance at the others.
Aragorn just laughed even
harder and snickered, “Prince *Sweetie* got pinched!”
Legolas turned with Dari
still in his arms a wicked smile on his face. “Let’s get him Dari!” he yelled
as he launched the two of them at the helplessly laughing King.
The End.
*EG* Oh come on ladies! Like you would not have done it if you had
had the chance! J
For those
of you who are wondering about the origin of the name Himwen, I got it from the
name generator on the MC site after entering the word “Flirt”… *Giggle* I just
couldn’t resist!