Title: If You Give An Elf A Mirror

Author: TrinityTheSheDevil

Summary: Ever read "If You Give A Mouse A Cookie"?  Well, this is my version....

Disclaimer: I do not own any LOTR characters, OR "If You Give A Mouse A Cookie".  I am making NO money from this, it's just for fun.....okay so I mainly wrote it to get these plot bunnies off my back but anyway.  ;)

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

If you give an Elf a mirror, he's going to want a brush to fix his hair.

 

After brushing his hair, he'll notice a smudge of dirt on his face.  He'll ask to go to a nearby river to get some clean water.

 

After washing the smudge off his face, he'll notice he smells slightly, and he'll want some soap to take a bath.

 

When he's done, an hour later, he'll want a towel to dry himself with.  Then, not wanting to get dirty again, he'll want you to clean his clothes for him.

 

Of course, he won't want to put on wet clothes, so you'll be forced to wait while they dry, hanging over nearby trees.

 

All that waiting will make the Elf hungry, and he'll ask you to cook something to eat.  While cooking the food, a party of Orcs will notice the fire, and attack you both.

 

After realizing there are too many Orcs, you'll both be forced to run away to the nearest town.

 

The town is full of men, so the Elf will want your cloak to cover himself with.

 

Walking nearby the local Inn, the Elf will smell cooking food, and realize he still hasn't eaten.  He will ask you to accompany him into the Inn to eat.

 

When eating, his hood will slip, revealing the Elf to the men at the Inn.  They will start an all out bar fight and force you both out of their town.

 

All that fighting will sure make the Elf wonder if his hair is still perfect, so he'll most likely ask you for a mirror....

 

 

 

Give a Mouse a Cookie

If you give a mouse a cookie, he is going to ask for a glass of milk.

When you give him the milk he'll probably ask you for a straw. When he is finished he'll ask for a napkin.

Then he'll want to look in a mirror to make sure he doesn't have a milk mustache.

When he looks into the mirror he might notice his hair needs a trim.

So he'll probably ask for a pair of nail scissors. When he's finished giving himself a trim, he'll want a broom to sweep up. He'll start sweeping.

He might get carried away and sweep every room in the house. He may even end up washing the floors as well

When he is done he'll probably want to take a nap.

You'll have to fix up a little box for him with a blanket and a pillow.

He'll crawl in, make himself comfortable and fluff the pillow a few times. He'll probably ask you to read him a story.

So you'll read to him from one of your books and he'll ask to see the pictures. When he looks at the pictures, he'll get so excited he'll want to draw one of his own. He'll ask for paper and crayons.

He'll draw a picture. When the picture is finished, he'll want to sign his name with a pen.

Then he'll want to hang his picture on your refrigerator. Which means he'll need Scotch tape.

He'll hang up his drawing and stand back to look at it. Looking at the refrigerator will remind him that he's thirsty. So........

He'll ask for a glass of milk. And chances are if he asks for a glass of milk he's going to want a cookie to go with it.

http://www.angelfire.com/ma2/nurseryrhymes/givemousecookie.html