Title: Of Arrows and Curses

Author: TrinityTheSheDevil

Rating: PG 13-ish

Summary:  This story is MOST DEFINITELY AU.  For one: Elrond doesn't have a wife in this fic.  Nada attachments.  :D  And two: nothing that happens in this fic could possibly happen in a real LOTR universe!  LOL.  Okay, on with summary.  Aragorn, Elladan, Elrohir, and Legolas all go on a hunting trip.  When something goes wrong, they manage to tick off a wizard, and have a curse put upon them!  Will they survive?

Archive: Just ask!! :D

Disclaimer: I don't own LOTRs.  I own ~nothing~.  Although I really wish I did.  REALLY wishing I did.  Perhaps I could buy Aragorn from Tolkien?  *pout*  Or not. 

Thanks to Zimbing who helped me with the curse in chapter two!  :)

If you've forgotten what happens in the previous four chapters, you can find them at fanfiction.net!  :)  http://www.fanfiction.net/read.php?storyid=1283905

Bunches of thanks to my beta, Karine!  :D

Day One! -

Aragorn looked over at his companions as they closed in on their prey.  After being cooped up because of the rainstorm for the past week, Elrond had finally ordered them out of his house.  For some reason, their Ada could not put up with the four of them for more than a few days at a time.  Aragorn could not think of a reason why, since he, his brothers, and Legolas never directly involved Elrond in their pranks.  Well, unless you count the fire incident.......or the red ants......or the chicken.  Aragorn chuckled over that.  The chicken incident was something he would never forget, and he doubted the rest of the elves in Rivendell would stop talking about it any time soon.

So, having nothing to do, the four of them decided to go on a small hunting trip.  Their food stock was getting on low anyway, but not so low as to have a full hunting party.

Hearing a small whistle, Aragorn looked up as his brother pointed to the deer in the clearing.  Elladan was motioning for Aragorn to take the shot.

Grinning to himself, Aragorn brought his bow up, and aimed for the deer’s heart.  What he didn't notice was a squirrel slowly making its way up the inside of his pants leg.

At the same time Aragorn was going to let go of the arrow, the squirrel bit the tender skin of his leg.  Screaming like a banshee, he accidentally let the arrow fly.  The arrow had veered off course, and the four of them heard a yelp and a muffled "thud".

"OW!  OW!  OW!  OW!"  Aragorn danced around beating his pants, as the squirrel rolled out dazed and chittering at him angrily.

Just as Aragorn was about to strangle the squirrel, his brother yelled at him to follow them to where the arrow had flown.

"Aragorn, come!"  Elladan yelled as Aragorn had taken out his sword and was pointing it towards the small animal.

Growling to himself, Aragorn followed his brothers while rubbing the bite mark on his leg.  The squirrel would pay for that if he ever saw him again.

"Estel, I think you shot someone!"  Legolas said, marching over to him.

Aragorn paused and looked up at his friend.  Forgetting the squirrel, he ran ahead towards where they heard the sound.

Arriving at a small patch of trees, Aragorn spotted an old man with a flowing white beard leaning heavily against a tree.  His arrow was sticking from the mans leg.

"Oh no."  Aragorn rushed over to the man to help him, all the while cursing himself for the accident.

The man looked up as he heard Aragorn running towards him.

"I'm so sorry, sir.  I didn't mean for this to happen.  It was an accident, you see, me and my brothers were hunting, and there was this evil squirrel-"

"BE SILENT!"  The old man yelled.  This human rambled on worse than a hobbit.

Aragorn snapped his mouth shut at the loud command from the angry man.  Come to think of it......the old guy looked like Gandalf a bit.  He had long flowing white robes, long white hair, and a white beard.  He also carried a staff like Gandalf. 

Aragorn was jerked from his thoughts when he heard a familiar ripping sound.  It was the sound of an arrow being pulled from flesh.  His butt hurt just thinking of it again. 

He started to walk forward again when a white light surrounded the man, and brightened so much that none of the four could look upon him.

When the light finally faded, Aragorn lowered his hands from shielding his eyes, and gasped.  The arrow wound was gone, as was the blood that was covering the robes.

"You're..you're....you're....-"  Aragorn’s eyes widened.

"....a wizard!"  Legolas cried.

"Yes, that I am.  Now, which one of you shot me?!"  The wizard advanced on them

Elladan, Elrohir, and Legolas all backed away and pointed at a baffled Aragorn.

"I...it...I...er....it was an accident!  I swear, that evil little squirrel ran up my-"

"SILENCE!"  The wizard yelled again, causing Aragorn to jump back into his brother Elladan, who shoved the human forward.

Aragorn gulped as he took in the angry wizard.  This was NOT good.  There were a few people in Middle Earth you should not make angry, and they were your parents, your mentors, and wizards.  So far in Aragorn’s short life, he had accomplished the first two.  Now, he had provoked a wizard.  Swallowing hard again, he only hoped his father could undo whatever spell the wizard inflicted upon him.

"Wait just a second.  It WAS an accident!  He did not mean to shoot you, and besides, he had no way of knowing you were anywhere around here!"  Legolas jumped up to Aragorns defense.

The wizard turned to glare at Legolas, then at Elladan and Elrohir.

"So...you were all hunting together?"  He asked.

"Uhh....yeah.."  Legolas slowly backed away again.  Aragorn was a big boy, he could defend himself. 

"Uh huh.  Well, young ones, I will teach you a lesson you will never forget!"  The wizard raised his staff, and started mumbling a bunch of words that none of the four could make out.

When the wizard finished, he lowered the staff, and laughed lightly.  "Well, I bid you good day, fare thee well."  And disappeared in a poof of smoke.

"What just happened?"  Elladan asked, checking himself over for anything unusual.

"I have no idea.  Maybe we should......leave....incase he comes back."  Legolas said, also checking himself over, and making sure he still had his hair.  Valar forbid anything should happened to his perfect hair.

"Right."  Aragorn took off in the direction of the horses, with the three elves trailing after him.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Aragorn sighed in relief as Rivendell came into view.  He was worried they would meet the wizard on their way back.

"What do you think he did to us?"  Legolas said from Aragorns side.

"I don't think did anything.  I think he was just trying to scare us."  Elladan turned a bit so he could see the others faces.

"I don't know.  I did shoot him after all.  He's a wizard, he wouldn't have done nothing.  We know that much from Gandalf and the shoe incident."  Aragorn scratched his chin.  He knew the wizard did SOMETHING, he just had to figure out what.

"I would be less worried about the wizard, and more worried about what we're going to tell Ada.  We have no deer with us after all, he will begin to think that we were up to something."  Elrohir looked at the others.  HE wasn't telling Elrond, that was for sure.

"Aragorn can explain.  It's his fault we have no catch, after all."

"I agree."  Legolas snickered a bit at the horrified expression on Aragorns face. 

"Now wait just a minute!  It was NOT my fault, it was that bloody squirrel.  That thing's evil I tell you, pure evil!"  Aragorn said.

"And do you actually thing Ada will believe that?"  Elladan laughed.  He felt sorry for any squirrels that got in Aragorns way for the next few weeks...or months.

"No..."  Aragorn mumbled.

"Precisely." 

The conversation trailed off as they entered the stables, and put the horses up.  For Aragorn, it was going to be a long night.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"A.....squirrel..you say?"  Elrond arched an eyebrow while watching his youngest son squirm under the piercing gaze of his father.

"Yes.  An evil squirrel."  Estel mumbled.

"Uh huh.  So, after the squirrel....bit you.....you decided to come home and not continue hunting?"  Elrond could barely contain his laughter. 

"Well, it was getting late, so we figured we'd better head home before you got worried." 

"Really."  Elrond said, not believing a word of it.  Since when did they care how much Elrond worried?  Whatever happened, he knew he would not find out at the moment.  Perhaps he could wiggle it from Legolas later. 

"Well, since you've had a...busy day....why don't you go ahead and get some sleep."

"Yes Ada."  Aragorn quickly walked out of the room, and headed for his bed.  He had a nagging feeling that his father knew something was up, but he was glad that his father didn't press him for information.  Ada would be seriously angry if he knew that Aragorn had accidentally shot someone.  A wizard, no less.

Flopping down into the bed, Aragorn sighed and drifted off towards the dream realm.  He couldn't shake the feeling that the wizard HAD done something to him, but it was no use thinking over it.  It would most likely only leave him more confused.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Day Two -

Aragorn groaned as his mind slowly began to wake up.  Blinking, he waited until the room came into focus and rolled over onto his back.  Raising a hand to scratch his chest, he paused when his fingers met something soft.  Jumping up from bed, he yanked his shirt off and looked in the mirror.

His jaw dropped and hit the floor so hard it popped.  Eyes bulging, he looked downwards....and screamed.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!"  Running around the room, and waving his arms madly, Aragorn smacked into the side of the door and fell unconscious onto the floor.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Legolas sleepily dragged himself out of bed.  Whoever thought that all elves were bright and chipper as soon as they woke up, were nuts!  Elves needed time, and caffeine, for their brains to kick start too.  Not that he'd be letting Aragorn in on that little fact.

Unzipping his pants to change, he bent over to pull them off.  As he was bending over, he noticed a certain, important, part of his body was missing.

Falling backwards and landing square onto his butt, he took a few deep breaths.  He had to be seeing things. Jumping back up, he quickly stripped out of all his clothing and looked at his body in the mirror.  Looking down again, he promptly fainted.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Elladan raised one hand to block out the sunlight streaming through his windows.  He *hated* mornings.  He'd much rather sleep in the day.  Sighing and resigning himself to the fact that he wasn't gonna get back to sleep anyway, he stood up and threw his pillow over at his twins bed.

A muffled "yelp" sounded, followed by the pillow being returned to sender.  It found it's mark and Elladan turned to glare at his brother......but stopped.

"Elrohir...you...you're...you........."

Apparently his brother saw the same thing, for Elrohir was sitting there with his mouth making motions like a fish out of water.  It would have been quite funny, had Elladan not been seeing his brother......like that.

They both jumped up and screamed at the same time.

"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"  Pointing towards each other, unable to form coherent words, the both paused, and fainted onto each other.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Elrond sighed blissfully as he drifted further into his dream.  He was on a beach, surrounded by beautiful elf females, who were all wearing dresses that were cut off above their knees.  Lying back on the sand, the sunlight dancing upon his face, he opened his mouth as one of the elves fed him grapes.  His hair gently floated around, as another fanned him with a giant leaf. 

He jumped out of his skin when he heard the cry of a banshee, and turned around to face his enemy.......when he fell off the bed.

Muttering to himself, he vowed to strangle the one who awoke him.  Ah well, he was the Lord of Rivendell...perhaps he could arrange a date with a few elves.  Making a mental note to practice his pick-up lines, he pulled on a robe and went in search of the scream that violently yanked him from the dream land.

Hearing another scream, and another, and another, he picked up his pace.  Something was happening, that was for sure.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Aragorn awoke a few minutes later, and quickly got dressed.  However the heck.....this....had happened, his Ada could fix it.  He hoped. 

Pulling on a shirt and pants, he ran into the hallway, where he met up with Legolas.

"Aragorn..you..you're......you...."  Legolas gaped.

"You are too!"  Aragorn probably would have laughed at Legolas, had not the same thing been done to him.

They turned as the twins skidded into the hallway with them.

"ARAGORN, LEGOLAS!  WE'RE......"  Elladan paused as he got a look at the two.

"So're we!"  Aragorn pointed to his chest.

"What is going on in here?!  Can't an elf get a decent sleep for-"  Elrond walked in and paused.  "Oh Valar." 

Elladan quickly leaned over to catch his father as he fainted. 

This was just getting better and better.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"-think the wizard.."

"-Ada can turn us back?"

"-Coming around..."

Elrond fuzzily heard the voices floating around him.  He felt the cold stone under his back and wondered why he was lying on the floor.

Blinking several times, he almost jumped out of his skin when he saw Aragorn hovering over him.  Taking a good look at his foster son, he realized with a growing horror that this wasn't a dream.

His sons, and Legolas.......were female!

"Thank the Valar, Ada.  You suddenly fainted, and we were getting a bit worried."  Aragorn said.

"Estel......Elladan............WHAT HAPPENED?!"

Aragorn looked down at the breasts that had suddenly appeared overnight.

"We think it's the wizards doing."  Legolas sighed, and straightened his clothing.

"THINK?!  Of course it is!  How else would we have these......abominations?!"  Elladan screamed.

"You didn't say that when we saw that maiden bathing in the creek the other day!"  Elrohir snickered.

"Bathing in the creek?!"  Elrond turned to glare at the twins, who shrugged and gave him their most innocent look.

"It's not my fault that her parents didn't raise her to bathe in privacy Ada!"  Elladan said.

"We'll talk of this later."  Elrond growled, then thought back to what Legolas had said. 

Double taking, he looked at the four of them.  "WHAT WIZARD?!"

"Uhhh......"  Aragorn turned to glare at Legolas, who shrugged.

"What......did you manage to do this time, Estel?!"  Elrond gritted his teeth. 

"Why do you automatically assume it's me?  It could have easily been Elladan or Elrohir!"  Aragorn looked hurt.

"Because.......you were there." 

"Oh.  Umm.....in that case, Iaccidentlyshotawizardandheputacurseonus."  Aragorn mumbled.

Not exactly believing what he heard, Elrond said, "What?!"

Jabbing Legolas in the ribs for laughing at him, Aragorn turned back to Elrond.  "Well, this evil little runt of a squirrel ran up my pants leg and bit me when I was about to fire on a deer.  I accidentally let the arrow fly, and it hit this wizard.  He er.....got a bit mad...and put a curse on us."

"But why all four of you?  You were the one who shot him, Estel." 

Elladan paused from teasing his brother and looked back at Aragorn.  "Hey, he's right!  Estel was the one who shot him!  Not us!"  Elladan glared at Aragorn, who shrank back behind Legolas.

"Guilty by association, I guess."  Legolas shrugged at Elrond.

"Anyway, can you turn us back Ada?"  Elrohir helped Elrond off the floor.

Elrond sighed and took a good look at them.  Rubbing his temples, he went through a list of simple spells that might work against this sort of curse.  Mentally marking off each one that he knew wouldn't work, he finally thought of one.  One that MIGHT work.  And that was a VERY slim chance.

"Maybe."

"Maybe?!  What kind of answer is that?!  We're FEMALE!"  Elladan screamed. 

"Well, not complete females.  Just the.........vital.....anatomy...parts."  Aragorn wisely shut up as Elladan, Elrohir, and Legolas turned to glare at him.

"Maybe, as in I don't know if this spell will work.  I found it in an old book that Gandalf left here.  The spell itself sounds....preposterous!  I have never tried it, and I heavily doubt it will change you back."  Elrond crossed his arms.  He just wished he could find out which wizard did this to them.  Then perhaps, he could have Gandalf turn them back.  

"Well, it's our only chance.  I say we take it."  Elladan said, and the others nodded in agreement.

"Fine then.  Come along, I'll explain to you what exactly you have to do."  Elrond hoped this would work.  He didn't want to be the one explaining to any other that happened along exactly why his sons were female.  Or Thranduil, if he found out Legolas was not the son he remembered.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Elrohir looked at his Ada as if he were a loony.  The "spell" didn't even sound like a spell!  It sounded as if someone had gotten drunk and wrote down a bunch of mumbo jumbo, claiming it to be a spell.

"I'm NOT doing that!  No way!"  Elladan said, rejecting the idea of going through that humiliation just for something that MIGHT work.

"I say we try it on Aragorn first."  Legolas spoke up from his seat behind the twins. 

Aragorn started, and looked at his friend.  "Oh no, now wait just a minute!  Ada himself said that there was a slim chance that it would work anyway!  I'm not doing that!  There is no way in Middle Earth you are going to get me to run.....through..."  Aragorn broke off as his brothers stood up, and started walking towards him.  Looking to his father for help, he saw Elrond chuckling quietly and knew he would not get any help from him.  Turning towards Legolas, he knew he was in trouble when he saw his friend walking towards him menacingly. 

"Now come on brothers, Legolas, be sensible about this!  I'm sure there are other things that Ada could do, that could change us back!"  Aragorn wasn't dumb.  He knew exactly when to retreat.  And this was one of those times. 

Turning and taking off, he ran through the halls intent on getting out before his brothers could use him as a test dummy for the spell.

Turning a corner, he accidentally knocked over a young woman who was carrying a basket of fine silks.  Apologizing and helping her back up, he took off again.

Bursting through the door, he smiled.  He was almost free.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Elladan and Elrohir pointed towards the way Aragorn had taken off in, telling Legolas to follow him.  Knowing every passageway in their fathers palace, they both ran the most direct way to the exit in which Aragorn would most likely make his escape at.

Arriving right in front of the door, they waited for their brother to run out. 

A few seconds later, Elladan could hear his brothers light footsteps making their way towards the door.  Sticking his leg out, he smiled at Elrohir.

The door burst open and Aragorn came flying out.  Not noticing his brother, Aragorn's foot got tangled with Elladan's leg, and he went tumbling down the steps.

Not giving him a chance to get up, the twins pounced on Aragorn and hauled him up.

"Aw come on.  Can't we talk about this?  What did I ever do to you?"  Aragorn pouted.

Elrohir glared and pointed towards his chest.

"Ah."  Aragorn sighed.  He looked up when Legolas ran through the door, looking winded.

"What took you so long, Legolas?  You shouldn't have been that far behind Estel here."  Elladan asked.

"I had an unfortunate delay.  It seems someone bumped into the seamstress, and I slipped on the silk that was lying on the floor.  It's not easy balancing oneself with these..........additions."  Legolas looked down, glaring at himself.  How did women manage with these?!

Elladan chuckled and clapped Legolas on the back with his free hand.  Pulling a reluctant Aragorn with them, they made their way back towards Elrond.

The spell, even if it didn't work, would be highly amusing to watch.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Aragorn glared at his brothers as they drug him to the field where their father would perform the spell.  He would get them back for this, that was for sure.  It wasn't HIS fault the wizard was an old fart who took things a bit too far. 

Arriving at the perfect spot, Elrond opened the book he had brought with them. 

"Legolas, you have all the supplies?"  Elrond looked over to where Legolas was putting several jars on the ground. 

Legolas nodded and Elrond looked over at Estel.  Poor boy.  He would probably need lots of therapy after this.

Reading from the book, Elrond said, "In order to get the full effect of the spell, the person has to be completely nude."  Leaving off there, Elrond looked towards the twins. 

Nodding, the twins proceeded to strip their brother from every scrap of clothing he was wearing.  It wasn't easy, as the young human was putting up quite a fight. 

"OW!"  Elladan screeched as Aragorn bit him on the arm. 

"Estel, this would go a lot faster if you would just cooperate."

Aragorn looked towards Elrohir.  "COOPERATE?!  YOU EXPECT ME TO RUN NUDE THROUGH A FIELD OF PRICKLY PLANTS!"

"....while covered in honey."  Elrond coughed a bit to cover up his laugh.

Sending a glare towards his father, Aragorn stomped his foot a bit.  "I refuse to do it!"

"Oh really?  Well, my little brother, what if.....Glorfindel finds out who cut the straps on his saddle?  Hmm?  I believe he said there was certain death for the one who caused him to fall off the horse...and down the cliff......and into a bee hive......and into the river...."  Elladan smirked.

Muttering very rude things under his breath, Aragorn finally nodded slightly.  He DEFINITELY didn't want to be on the receiving end of Glorfindel's anger, that was for sure.  A little harmless run though...prickly plants...while covered in honey....wouldn't kill him.

"Why do I have to be covered in honey and run through the prickly plants anyway?!"  Aragorn whined.

"Well, it says in the book that honey absorbs the curse put on you, and when the prickly plants prick you, they reverse the spell.  It should work."  Elrond said, then muttered under his breath so they couldn't hear, "I think." 

Still muttering under his breath, Aragorn yelped slightly as someone smeared a glob of cold honey on his back.  Turning, Aragorn resisted the urge to deck a snickering Legolas.

"Well, you have to be completely covered in honey."  Legolas grinned.

"I....can...do...it...myself!"  Aragorn growled, and snatched the jar from Legolas. 

After covering himself COMPLETELY in honey, Aragorn looked back towards his father.  It was quite a site for the old elf.  His son.......with....breasts....and the other very vital female anatomy part......completely covered in honey.  The Elf Lord had to refrain from laughing until he cried.

"*ahem*...okay, it says you have to *cough* run through the field of prickly *snicker* plants."  Elrond turned away and put a hand over his mouth to stifle the laughter.

Aragorn looked at the field of plants.  They were *almost* chest high.  It would be a tough job just running through plants that high, but the plants were PRICKLY and they stung like a balrog when they stuck to skin.  Plus, being naked and covered in honey.....well that didn't exactly help matters.

"Get going little brother." 

Aragorn wacked his brother upside the head, and slowly took off. 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Elladan watched his brother running through the plants.  Cupping a hand to his slightly pointed ear, he listened to the muttered curses from Estel.

"...ow..ow...ow...EEYYOOUUCH....>curse<..."  Elladan paused at that.  Where had his brother learned THAT particular curse word?!  Probably from Glorfindel, and the beehive incident.  Shrugging, Elladan turned back towards the others.

Elrond was hanging onto Legolas trying to control his laughter.  Of course, Legolas wasn't helping matters any.  He couldn't breathe for the giggles and snorts.  Elrohir was over to the side chuckling to himself.

Jumping about a mile high, Elladan turned back towards the field where about five elf females were running out.

"AAAAAAHHHHH!  THERE'S A MAD WOMAN LOOSE!"  Elladan heard one of them shriek as they ran past heading back towards Rivendell.

Huh....poor Estel....running right in the middle of those women’s picnic.  Elladan snickered and finally gave into his laughter.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"ow..ow...ow...EEYYOOUUCH...>curse<.."

Aragorn said as a particular big thorn caught onto a particular sensitive part of his body.  His brothers....were going....to pay! 

Aragorn kept running though.  It would be worth it, once the curse was lifted, to watch his brothers do this very same thing.  He grinned evilly.  Definitely worth it.

Not noticing where he was going, he ran right out of the field and into a picnic.  The female elves who were eating and chatting among themselves paused and looked up at the intruder....and screamed.

Aragorn winced as they scattered and ran in different directions.  Could this get anymore humiliating?!  He stalked back towards his father.  Only one more thing to do before this spell was complete.  The sooner, the better.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Elrond stood up as his son stomped back to where they were all standing around.  Trying to compose himself and hoping he didn't look that bad, as he was just rolling on the ground laughing, he straightened his robes and grabbed the last jar.

"Okay."  Elrond opened the book.  "Now, all you have to do is eat a slug, and I repeat the words from the book.  Then, if all goes as it should, you'll be back to normal."

Aragorn looked into the jar at the very big, and very slimy slug currently gliding around on the inside.  His stomach twisted just thinking of eating it.

"Are you sure?  I mean, can't I eat something else?  Something...smaller?"  Aragorns face twisted a bit.

"No, you have to eat this."  Elrond shook the jar in front of Estel's face. 

Taking the jar, Aragorn undid the cap and pulled out the gross looking creature. 

Legolas looked away as Elladan and Elrohir were still hanging onto each other laughing.

Slowly lifting the slug to his mouth, Aragorn paused again and looked at Elrond.  "What if-"

"No."  Elrond motioned for Estel to hurry up.

"But-"

"NO!"

Aragorn glared, for what seemed like the millionth time that day, and lifted the slug to his mouth again.  Dropping it and letting it slide down his throat, he quickly swallowed.  Trying not to gag at the slimy feeling, he took a few deep breaths.  He could swear he felt the thing crawling around in his stomach now.

Elrond started repeating the passage from the book, which lasted for what seemed like forever.  After he was done, Elrond sprinkled a bit of some unknown herb over Aragorn's head, then stood back and waited.

After a few minutes, and nothing happening, Aragorn started fidgeting.  "Is it supposed to take this long?!"  He growled.

"I truly don't know."  Elrond reached a hand out and touched Estel's chin lightly. 

As soon as his fingers brushed against the chin though, something DID happen.  Pink smoke seemed to rise from the very ground itself, and swirled around Aragorn and his father.

The twins and Legolas backed up a bit, having no idea what was happening exactly.  When the smoke finally cleared, they looked at their brother.  Who.....was exactly the same.

Looking over to their father, their jaws dropped.

Elrond looked at his sons, a slightly perplexed expression coming over his face.  "What?"

Elladan pointed to his fathers chest.

Elrond looked down.  "Drats."  The elf Lord was very lucky that Aragorn was there to catch him when he fell.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

When Elrond awoke again, he quickly pushed himself up from the bed his sons had lied him upon.  Looking down, he growled.  This wasn't supposed to happen!!!!  It was supposed to reverse the curse on Aragorn......NOT PUT HIM UNDER THE CURSE!

He looked around for the nearest wall to bash his head against.  Unfortunately his search was interrupted as his sons strode into the room.

"Ah, you're awake!  What happened, Ada?  The spell didn't work!"  Elrohir said.

Elrond looked at the younger of the two twins, and wondered if it'd be so bad to run him through with a sword.  Na.....too much paperwork..........then again, he could always ask Glorfindel to do it.  Sighing, he banished those thoughts from his head.  It would do no good to strangle his son......or drown him......or push him off the balcony.........or - he shook his head.  He had to stay on task! 

"Yes, I know the spell didn't work."  He glared down at his new boobs.  That wizard was going to pay.

"Well, what are we -"  Elladan was cut off by the screeching of a bird flying into the room.

"What in the Valar..."  Elrond walked over to the bird when he noticed a note attached to its leg.  Once the note was removed, the bird hopped a few times, then took off again.

Opening the note, he read it out loud,

"To Elrond, Lord of Rivendell,

No doubt you've noticed your sons have been placed under a most unusual curse.  Hopefully, this will teach them a bit of manners, and to look before they shoot.  Particularly that young human you have fostered. 

I sincerely hope you haven't tried that run-through-prickly-plants-covered-in-honey-and-eat-a-slug counter spell that Gandalf created.  It won't work.  That was just something Gandalf made when he was drunk at our yearly wizard bash.  It just puts the same curse on the person trying to remove it.  If you have done that spell......let me just say...HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

No worries though!  The curse will only last for five more days.  By then, those youngsters should be a bit more mature. 

Namaarie,

The White Wizard".

Growling and crumpling the note up, Elrond stalked off towards his room.  It was going to be a long five days.

Day Three -

Aragorn awoke again as a female.  This was getting very annoying.  He winced as he got dressed.  After spending several hours in the tub last night, he had attempted to scrub every bit of the sticky honey off.  He finally got it off, but now his skin was raw and red.

Not to mention the sores and rash he got from the prickly plants.  What made it even worse was the sores itched...and they were EVERYWHERE.  Scratching his bum, he walked out into the hallway where he bumped into Legolas.

"Aragorn."  Legolas greeted his friend. 

"Legolas."  Aragorn growled.

'Hm.....guess he is still mad about yesterday then.'  Legolas mused.

"So......get any sleep last night?" 

"Enough."  Actually, Aragorn didn't get hardly ANY sleep last night.  It was hard to get comfortable with the extra body parts.  Plus the sores.  Aragorn looked over to Legolas.  The elf looked tired, like he didn't sleep a bit.

"Did YOU get any sleep last night?"  Aragorn decided to put away their differences........for now.

"Um..........yeah."  Legolas studied the wall for a bit.  Interesting....he could see a tiny crack near the bottom.  Oh...a fly.  Legolas' eyes followed the fly around the ceiling.

"You're lying.  Why couldn't you sleep last night?" 

"Um...no reason.  I just couldn't."  Such an interesting fly, Legolas thought. 

"Legolas."  Aragorn sighed.  Why did his friend insist on being like this?! 

"Fine.  I had a few small......nightmares." 

"Really?  And..........?" 

Legolas glared at Estel.  The young human wasn't making this any easier.

"I dreamt I was being attacked by giant boobs.  Okay?  Are you happy now?!"  Legolas stomped off. 

Aragorn paused for a second before bursting out laughing.  Realizing his friend was on the move, Aragorn ran to catch up with him.

"Legolas, sorry.  I didn't..*snicker* mean anything.  It's just..............how big were they?"  Aragorn broke down in a fit of giggles again. 

Legolas' cheeks reddened before he took off out the nearest balcony and into the trees.

"Hmm....someone is very touchy today."  Aragorn shrugged to himself then went off to find breakfast. 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Elrond rubbed his temples as he sat down to the table.  It had been a long night.  He'd spent most of it searching for a cure, for the curse he was under.  And, had found absolutely nothing. 

He had gotten a major migraine halfway through the night.  Strangely, instead of taking the usual herbs, he had settled himself down with one of the romance books the maidens were so fond of, and had eaten a whole store of chocolate.  Afterwards, he had glanced into the mirror and started wondering if he was getting fat.  It was a very weird moment indeed for the Elf Lord.  He had never been too worried about his appearance. 

Also, when taking his morning bath, he had to resist the urge to shave his legs and armpits.  He had taken a very short bath, as he was not accustomed to seeing certain body parts on him.  When he got out and stood in front of the mirror to fix his hair, he had yet another weird urge to pluck his eyebrows. 

Either he was going very insane, or this was some result of the curse.  He was hoping it was the latter.  And it wasn't getting any better.  These urges were getting stronger by the minute! 

Deciding to just ignore them for now, he reached over and picked up a piece of fruit.  Just as he was about to bite into it, someone walked into the dinning room.

"Elrond, I'm glad to have found you......."  Glorfindel trailed off as he got a good look at his friend.  Elrond.....the Lord of Rivendell........had boobs.  And big ones at that.

"Umm.....I was looking for Elrond....have you seen him?"  Glorfindel said, deciding that it was just a misunderstanding.  This couldn't be Elrond. 

"I'm Elrond, Glorfindel.  I apologize for my appearance.  It seems I was placed under a curse of the worst sort, along with my sons and Legolas."  Elrond had to stifle a chuckle at the confused expression on his friends face.

"A...curse..you say?  And, when exactly will this curse be lifted?" 

"In about four days time."

Glorfindel fidgeted, and his eye started twitching.  A sure sign that he was a bit uncomfortable. 

"Yes, well.  I uhhh......I've come to tell you that...uhh.."

"....yes?"  Elrond grinned slightly. 

"Umm...there are Orcs.....*eye twitch*....yes Orcs not too far from Rivendell.  I have to go um....kill them.  *twitch*" 

"Orcs, you say?  Well, you should take along my sons.  They are some of the best warriors here."

Glorfindel thought for a moment.  Elrond had said his sons were under the same curse.  That meant.....they also had boobs.

"No, I have to...er...disagree with you there.  I can handle them by myself.  Not that many Orcs, really."  Glorfindel shrugged. 

"Very well.  When will you be back?"  Elrond asked.

"Umm..er.....uhh.....five days.  *eye twitch*  Yep, five days." 

Elrond nodded, and Glorfindel fled the room.  Chuckling over his friends antics, Elrond turned back towards his breakfast.  He was interrupted yet again, as Aragorn came into the room, followed closely by Elladan and Elrohir.

"Ada, what is wrong with Glorfindel?  He took one look at us and his eyes just went crazy.  Twitching and such.  He didn't even say anything, just ran off towards the stables.  Is he alright?"  Elladan sat himself down at the table.

"I don't know.  I don't think he's truly comfortable around us as we are at the moment though."  Elrond said.

"Ah."  Elladan reached over and grabbed an apple.

Just as Elrond was about to bite into his fruit for the third time that morning, Legolas rushed into the room and sat down at the table.  "Terribly sorry I'm late.  I had to avoid a few other people on the way here." 

"Didn't want anyone to see you as a girl?"  Aragorn chuckled.

"No, actually I don't.  I have a reputation to think of, you know." 

Aragorn just rolled his eyes.  He had a feeling that the following days would be very entertaining.

Luckily for Elrond, the rest of breakfast went smoothly without any more interruptions.  Too bad he couldn't say that for the rest of the day.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Elrohir walked in his room to tidy up.  He hated leaving messes around.  Which, it was very hard to keep the room remotely clean, since he shared it with Elladan.  It had been like that since before they could remember.  Neither of the twins minded, for they loved spending time with each other. 

"Brother, I think your butt is getting big."  Elladan said while fixing his hair in front of a mirror.

Turning around, Elrohir looked in his mirror.  "No, you're wrong.  It's your butt that's getting big.  Mine is fine.  I have a sexy butt."  Elrohir did a weird dance, which involved lots of rump shaking.

"Hahahahaha.  Allow me to laugh at you, and say that YOU WISH."  Elladan peaked out of the corner of his eye and looked at his butt just to be sure. 

"Elladan, you're butt is so big, you could fall into Mount Doom and get stuck." 

"Why you little!"  Elladan tackled his brother and flipped him over onto his stomach.  Sitting on Elrohir's back, he pushed his elbows into his twin's neck.

"Say uncle!" 

"NEVER!"  Elrohir bucked trying to escape his brother's clutches. 

Tightening his hold, the older twin jabbed his fingers in a sensitive part of his brothers neck.

"GIVE!"  Elladan yelled.

"I...WILL.....NOT.....GIVE...UP!"  Elrohir finally arched his back and wacked his brother in the head with his foot.

Rolling off of Elrohir, Elladan snatched up one of the giant cushions from the floor.  Hurling it, he watched with a satisfied smirk as it landed right in his brothers face.

Grabbing the nearest thing handy, which happened to be a pair of dirty underclothes, Elrohir flung it at Elladan.  He laughed as it they wrapped around his brothers head.

"GAAHH!  GET IT OFF!  EWW!"  Elladan said, and snatched it off, throwing it out a window.

"Oops......hope they didn't land on anyone...."

Elrohir snickered.  "Well, if they did, I'm sure they'll know who's underclothes they belong too.  I believe I saw your name sewn onto the hem of them." 

"Oh Valar.  Suppose I should go get them then."  Elladan frowned, and walked out towards the gardens, hoping no one came across the pair of underclothes lying outside.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Elrond sighed as he walked along the peaceful paths of his garden.  He loved being here.  This was the place he could retreat to when he needed quiet time for thinking.  And he had a LOT of thinking to do.

Elrond had no clue as to anything that would get rid of this curse.  He finally decided to himself to wait out the five days and see if he would really be changed back to his former self.  If not, he'd have a long talk with Gandalf, while strangling his youngest. 

Lifting his face, he smiled to the heavens and breathed in deeply.  The sweet scent of Rivendell filled his senses.  He could hear birds twittering in a nearby tree, the rustle of a squirrel running across the branches, the woosh of a pair of dirty underclothes falling through the air and landing on his face...

"ARGH!"  Elrond tore the offending piece of clothing off and looked at it.  On the edge he could clearly see Elladan's name.

He wondered what his sons were up to, and how it involved throwing dirty laundry out the window.  Shaking his head to himself, he looked up again noticed a very big rain cloud that was threatening to spill it's contents any second.  Frowning, he looked around.  It hadn't been long since the last rain, any more water could cause a bit of damage.  Concentrating and centering his thoughts on Vilya, he breathed in deeply.  Reaching out, he went to move the rain clouds away from Rivendell, and to another location that would probably need the rain more then them.

He frowned even deeper when nothing happened.  Reaching out again, he realized.........it wasn't working.  He shook the ring, then put all of his thoughts and will into moving the rain cloud.  Slowly, ever so slowly, it started moving.  But not in the direction he wanted it to.  The rain cloud was moving towards him...directly towards him.  He watched as it centered itself right above him, then with a loud clash of thunder, released all of it's water on one spot.  Right where Elrond was standing.

Sputtering, he hurried back inside his home.  Reaching the doorway, Elrond stood there looking like a drowned rat.  His hair had come out of the elaborate style he usually kept it in, and his boots made an odd squelching sound when he walked.

Elrond wondered why Vilya was rejecting him.  Most likely, it was because he was NOT himself.  He was...half female, not the elf the Ring knew.  Walking up to his room, he tucked the Ring away in a very safe spot.  He would have to go without it until this curse was lifted.  He changed, and headed back towards the reading room.  He was going to need some sappy romance to cheer him up now.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Aragorn unbuttoned his shirt, to change into another.  With the additions on his chest, his usual shirts were....very tight.  Pulling the shirt off, he looked into the mirror.  Normally, he wasn't TOO interested in breasts, but he had never been able to study them up close.  His were milky white, and round.  Looking down, he jumped once. 

*BOUNCE*

Laughing to himself, he jumped again.

*BOUNCE*

Looking around to see if anyone was spying on him, he started jumping repeatedly.

*BOUNCEBOUNCEBOUNCEBOUNCEBOUNCE*

"Bounce, boing, look at'em go!"  Aragorn sang.

Legolas, who was walking by the door, stopped in his tracks.  Putting an ear to the door, he listened to Aragorn.

"Bouncy, boingy, bouncy, boing.  And no one knows what I'm doing!"  Aragorn sang.

Eyebrows now shooting up to his hairline, Legolas opened the door.  Inside was Aragorn, with no shirt on, jumping up and down. 

"What in the Valar are you doing?!"  Legolas said.

Aragorn stopped and hurriedly grabbed up a shirt, flinging it over his head.

"Nothing."  He squeaked.

"Yeah........sure."  Legolas shook his head.  Aragorn continued to amaze him sometimes.  Not that LEGOLAS would ever do that.....no...of COURSE not.  Unless the door was locked......Legolas shook his head again. 

"I'll just be polishing my bow...if you need me.  Have fun."  Legolas winked at a reddening Aragorn, and headed towards his room. 

He wondered how they all would fare in the next four days.

Day Four

Elrond sighed and snuggled further in his blankets.  It wasn't quite morning yet, so there was no reason to get up in a hurry.  He was content to just lay there, and listen to the birds singing outside his window. 

"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Elrond jumped up as he heard the scream, and wacked his head against the headboard.  Grumbling to himself, he wondered what had happened now. 

He opened the door just as Aragorn came running in and bowled him over. 

"OOF!"  Elrond landed with a *thud* on the floor.  Before he could get his legs beneath him, Aragorn started babbling.

"ADA!  I'M DYING!  THAT WIZARD IS KILLING ME!"

"Estel, slow down.  What's wrong?"  Elrond asked worriedly.

Aragorn gulped and tried to control his breathing.

"I'm dying Ada!  That cursed wizard lied!"  Aragorn ran his hands through his hair, and looked at his father with big pleading eyes.

"How are you dying?  What is wrong?"  Elrond looked his son over but could see no outward sign of injury.

"I'm..........bleeding!" 

Elrond blinked, and looked over his son a bit more.  "Where are you bleeding at, my son?"

Aragorn sighed and gestured to his lower regions. 

"Not only that, ada, I have pains in my stomach and my back.  I also have a killer headache."

Elrond blinked twice, taking this information in.  His lips quirked upward, as he realized what exactly was wrong.  Snickering slightly, he took pity on his foster son, and told him what exactly was happening.

"Estel.......you're not dying."

"I'm not?"  Aragorn asked, confused.  There was no possible way he could bleed this much and NOT die.

Elrond sighed, and had a feeling that this wouldn't be easy.

"No, you're not.  You see....women.....human women...........have a condition.  They uhhhh..........come into womanhood around the age of fifteen."

Aragorns brow furrowed as he listened to what his father was saying.  "Condition?"

"For Valars sake,"  Elrond muttered, and wondered why Aragorn didn't learn about this sooner.  "Estel, this is completely natural, for women.  It happens once a month, and all women go through it."

"So...........I'm not dying?"

Elrond rolled his eyes.  "No, you're not!"  He sighed.  Then snickered.  A few minutes later, he was laughing pretty hard.

Aragorn glared at his father.  "How can you find this funny?!  And why aren't you and the others going through the same thing?!"

Elrond stifled his laughter a bit and wiped the tears from his eyes.  "Because, my son, elf women don't go through this."

Aragorn muttered a few choice words in dwarvish, before storming out of the room.  Elrond raises his eyebrows and wondered where exactly his son learned that sort of language.  Probably Glorfindel, that blonde elf couldn't hold his temper back for anything.  Especially when the twins pull pranks.

Elrond chuckled again as he thought of what his son was going through exactly.  He also felt a great deal of pity for him, because he knew it would probably get worse before it got any better.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Legolas walked down the halls looking for his human friend.  After having a talk with Lord Elrond, the blonde Mirkwood Elf had found out that Aragorn was going through a very trying time.  He thought it best to be there for his friend, and help him in this time of need.

Opening the door to Aragorn's room, Legolas' eyebrows shot upward three inches.  Aragorn was lying down, completely covered in water skins full of hot water. 

"Aragorn, Lle tyava quel, mellon nin?&qu