Is It Really Home, Sweet Home for Estel?
By: nautika
nautika_ @hotmail.com
or nautika_ AT hotmail.com
Hopefully beta'd by Celebwen

Rated PG
AU, Angst
Summary:  Estel visits a new friend and comes home changed.
Disclaimer:  Don't own them, wouldn't know what to do if I did.  My only profit is the pleasure I get if someone enjoys reading it.
A/N  words between ** and ** indicate italics

I think everyone knows ada, ion nin, gwador, naneth, etc.  I’m not doing anything fancy.  :D

Is It Really Home, Sweet Home for Estel?   Part 1 

"Ada?" 

Even though the voice was soft, the elf lord was startled by it.  Forcing down his embarrassment, he looked up to find his eldest son leaning against the door frame, a smug grin gracing his features.  "Yes, Elladan?"

"How long have you been looking at that same page?"

The lord of Rivendell glanced at the number-filled page before him, then smiled at the younger elf.  "Too long, obviously."

"He will be fine, you know.  Ro and I have known Broryl for years.  He assured us his wife would be glad for Estel to visit with their family."

"I know."

"We have agreed Estel will benefit from having a human friend his own age."

"I know this."

"And the elflings are still not accepting of him."

"I am certainly aware of that!"  Of all the challenges he had faced after adopting Estel, the greatest was watching the child's heart ache after the elflings teased and tormented him about being human.  Knowing that in part, they were repeating comments they'd heard from their parents only frustrated the elf lord more.  Worse, he suspected the boy withheld some of what occurred from his elven father and brothers in an attempt to eases their minds.

Again, Elladan's voice called him from his thoughts.  "Ada, you need to relax.  Estel will sense your tension."

"When he is home, I will no longer **be** tense, Elladan."

The younger elf laughed and crossed the room to place a kiss upon his head upon his father’s head.  "Elrohir is waiting for me at the stables. Come with us to get Estel?"

"I do not wish your friend and his wife to think I am judging them. That concern aside, I suspect Estel would think it odd.  No, I will wait for you here."

"As you wish.  We will not tarry."

"I know I am being foolish, ion nin, but I will feel better when he is home."

"Promise me you are not going to sit here and fret until our return.  You will do something to distract yourself?"

The elf lord chuckled.  "Perhaps I will rest.  I am sure I will need it to sustain me through your brother's recitations of his adventures with his new friend."

With a parting smile at his father, Elladan dipped his head and left the room.
~*~
Elrond had taken time to bathe and change his clothes and was just coming from the kitchens when he heard the horses in the courtyard.

He smiled, glad to have his sons home again.  Estel had never been gone from him this long before and the house had seemed very empty without him.  Even though the elf lord was pleased Estel was making a new friend, he was not looking forward to the child being gone from Rivendell while visiting his friend's home.  It did not seem likely the boy would be able to visit Estel.  The boy would of course be welcome in the House of Elrond, but exposing two boys to the elflings undesirable behavior would be worse than
exposing only one.  Elrond and his twin sons did not wish to Broryl's son Lucas to suffer treatment Estel received.  The twins had taken the man into their confidence on this matter before Estel's visit, so there would be no misunderstanding.  The twins hoped some day to take Estel and Lucas on a fishing trip to reciprocate, even though Broryl had assured them it was unnecessary.

When the front door opened, Elrond braced in anticipation of a human whirlwind, knowing his youngest would be beside himself with excitement.  Indeed, he was surprised not to have heard him chattering as he
approached the door.  The boy that greeted him was not at all the one he had expected.  Estel came straight to his father, but there was no spring in his step and no real joy in his smile. 

"Hello, Ada.  I have missed you."

"And I have missed you, ion nin."  As he knelt and pulled the boy into his arms, Elrond looked over the human's shoulder to the twins.  His eyes asked what had gone wrong.  Elladan shook his head and Elrohir held out both hands in a gesture of helplessness.  The quiet concern in their father's eyes was mirrored in theirs.
~*~
The three elves sat in Elrond's study, gazing into the fire.  The elf lord was completely unsettled by the events and emotions of recent days   Estel had gone to bed early, saying he was tired from his trip.  He had even declined the telling of a story at bedtime.  He was too old for childrens' stories, but his elven father had lived for millennia and knew many real life adventures that made excellent tales…with a few modifications.  Through these the boy learned of his elven family and tid bits of history, as well.  The elf lord admitted to himself that he looked forward to this time as much as his son.

"He was like that all the way home, Ada.  Quiet, almost withdrawn.  He would answer when we asked something, but would say no more than absolutely necessary.  His behavior seemed appropriate enough while we were yet at Broryl’s, but when they were no longer in sight…”  Elladan was at a loss to explain it.

 

“Perhaps one of us should have gone back and inquired of Broryl and his wife, but it was obvious that Estel was trying to hide his feelings from them.”  Unspoken by Elrohir was the fact that he and his twin had not anticipated their younger brother trying to hide anything from **them**.

 

“Well, as I said earlier, at least he has no fever or visible injuries.”  Elrond had ignored the young one’s protests and helped him with his bedtime preparations.  The father/healer would not run the risk of the human trying to hide an injury.  The risk of infection would be too great.  By assisting him in readying for bedtime, he was able to do an exam without the boy realizing it.  At least that was one thing Estel’s brothers and father did not have to worry about.  But it left the reason for the change in the boy still a mystery.

 

After several minutes of silence, Elrohir cleared his throat.  The others looked at him expectantly.  The younger twin dropped his eyes.

 

“Elrohir?”

 

“It was but a foolish thought.”

 

“Still, I would hear it.”

 

Elrohir’s voice was soft.  “Perhaps he did not wish to come home.  Perhaps he prefers living with Broryl and being with other humans.”

 

Is It Really Home, Sweet Home for Estel?   Part 2

 

A week had passed and there had been no change in Estel’s behavior.  He went through his daily routine as he always had – but without any joy.  He spoke when spoken to, occasionally forced a smile and watched his manners to the point Elrond grew weary of hearing “please” and “thank you”.  Watching the boy move made his father think of an elf trying to push a boulder up a mountain.  It seemed that every movement took effort…too much effort.  The human’s studies were also suffering, but no one – his instructors or Elrond - had the heart to call the boy to task.  Cook prepared his favorite meals, he smiled and ate the food politely.  The twins tried to spend extra time with him when the human would agree to it..  Too often, he would simply smile and say “no, thank you.”  And he continued to refuse bedtime stories from a heartbroken Elrond.

 

After yet another sleepless night, the elf lord could bear it no longer.  Something had to be done.  He awakened Elladan and Elrohir very early to discuss his decision with them.  They were both actually rendered speechless.  After long moments of staring at their father, they exchanged a long look and simply nodded their agreement.  The meeting ended with both Elrond’s elven sons in his arms. 

~*~

As the lord of Rivendell sat at the head of his table, he thought he had not seen such a sad group at breakfast since his wife had sailed – long before Estel had come to the House of Elrond.  He mentally shook himself as he realized he was comparing the losses of his parents, twin and wife to his impending losses.  This was not the same, he reminded himself firmly.  These loved ones would still be on Middle Earth, even if they would no longer live with him.  If Estel could only regain his joy by living with humans, then that is what must be done.  It was time to sit his plan in motion.

 

“Estel, would you like a break from your studies?”

 

“A break?”

 

“Yes, I thought you might enjoy a few days”  Elrond grasped his control tightly to prevent his voice form breaking.  “with Lucas and his family.  The twins have some free time and will be journeying there to help Broryl with any work he has.  You may go with them and spend some time with Lucas.  Would you like that?”

 

“Shall I pack now?”

 

“You have barely touched your food, ion nin.”   At the familiar term of endearment, Elrond felt the press of tears against his eyes.  This was his child, even if the child no longer wanted to live with him.

 

“I am not hungry.  May I be excused, please?”

 

“Of course, Estel.  Perhaps Cook will make something you can eat on the road.”

 

“Thank you.” 

 

As Elrond watched his youngest leave the room, he thanked the Valar the child’s departure was swift for he could hold the tears at bay no longer.  In spite of his best efforts, the words slipped from his lips.  “He did not call me Ada.”

 

Elladan, seated on his father’s right reached to grasp the older elf’s hand.  “He loves you, Ada.  We all love you.”

 

Elrohir left his chair to kneel beside their father.  “He did not seem excited to go.  Perhaps we are mistaken.”

 

Elrond viewed the situation differently.  “He was anxious enough to pack.”

 

“Still, it is not the reaction I would expect if we had been right about his wanting to live with them.”

 

“We have not told him you will be asking Broryl’s permission for him to stay.  I said only a few days.  Perhaps that is why he did not respond as you expected.”

 

“Perhaps.”  It was obvious Elrohir still had doubts, but had decided to say no more on the subject.

 

Elladan rejoined the conversation.  “Ada, are you sure you will be alright?  I do not like leaving you like this.”

 

“I will be fine, ion nin.  It is important that Estel be kept safe.  The journey would be too dangerous were only one of you to accompany him.”

 

“I suppose you are right, but I will only stay a day or two before I return.  Hear me out, Ada.  Estel will be safe with Elrohir and Broryl.  I need to know you are well.”  Elladan hesitated, then forged ahead.  “Do you wish to postpone hearing of Broryl’s decision and Estel’s reaction to it?”

”No.  I am only thinking of Estel’s safety…and of yours.  I am not attempting to delay the inevitable.  I do not plan on either you or Elrohir making the journey alone on a regular basis.  We have discussed this.  If Estel is not to reside inside the boundaries of Rivendell, then you must serve as his constant protectors.  I will not have you put him or yourselves at risk to check on an old elf.”  Elrond’s smile, while sad, was filled with affection.  “You must promise me you will be careful.”

 

“We promise, Ada.  But I am sure all 3 of us will be coming back for visits.”

 

Elrohir tried to lighten the mood as much as possible before their departure.  “Yes, I doubt Broryl’s wife will be able to prepare Estel’s favorite dishes the way Cook can!”  The younger twin destroyed his own efforts at levity by drawing his father into a fierce hug and whispering “I love you, Ada.”

 

“And I love you, my sons.  Now go.  You do not wish to keep your brother waiting.”

~*~

This trip was slower than their last, as this time Estel was riding his pony instead of sharing a horse with one of his brothers.  The elves weren’t sure if Estel having a pony when Lucas did not would offend the family, but in the end, Elrond could not bear the thought of separating the child from the animal he adored.  The twins had been assigned the task of discussing the importance of sharing before reaching Broryl’s.  Thus far, however, the elves thoughts had been of their parting from their father and their home and the look on their father’s face as they took a final glance back.  Now they were nearing the border of Rivendell, Elladan tried to decide the best way to broach the subject of Gwanunig with Lucas, and eventually his little sister.  Just as Elladan prepared to speak, Estel spoke softly…so softly Elladan could barely hear the words.

 

“Why does Ada no longer want me?”

 

Is It Really Home, Sweet Home for Estel?  Part 3 of 4

 

A/N The first of this may make you think you’ve missed something (or that I have), but I clear up the confusion in  paragraph 3.  Once you survive paragraph 3, it will be much easier!   :D    Thanks for all the reviews.  nautika

 

As Elrohir and Estel drew near to Imladris, the twin halted his mount.  “Let us rest for a time, little brother.”

 

Estel obediently pulled his pony to a stop and dismounted.

 

Elrohir assumed a position of leisure under a tree and patted the ground beside him.  The human sat in the spot the elf indicated and accepted the water bag offered him.  Elrohir watcher the boy as he drank, then accepted the return of the bag and took a drink himself before speaking.  He had been considering this ever since Elladan had left them.  Continuing on to Broryl’s with Estel after his revelation that he thought Elrond no longer wanted him was **not** an option.  But Elrond had sent a messenger ahead of his sons to let the human family know of their plans to visit.  If they all three turned back, Broryl would be concerned and begin a search for them.  It was decided that Elladan would go on to Broryl’s and Elrohir would return home with Estel.   Their Ada needed his son and Estel need his father.  Despite the best effort of the twins, Estel was still not convinced Elrond wanted him at Imladris.  The shock on his brother’s faces when they realized what Estel had asked had done more to frighten the boy than to help him understand the misunderstanding.  If possible, the young one was more miserable than he had been before.  The ride so far had been quiet.  Elrohir had wanted his brother to ride with him, just to feel him in his arms would have been a comfort to the elf, but Estel had refused.  Elrohir swallowed a sigh.  It was time to follow through on his plan.

 

“Estel, I know you have been refusing to hear Ada’s stories at bedtime, but I have a story I think it is important for you to hear.”  He placed his arm around his brother and drew him close to his side.  “I am told that in the world of men all stories begin Once Upon a Time.  Is that how stories begin at Lucas’ home?”

 

“Lucas’ naneth says they are too old for stories.”

 

“Ah.  Well, I believe that depends upon the type of story.  Certainly you are too old for some stories, but even elves as old as Elladan and I still enjoy a good tale around a fireside.”

 

“Really?”

 

“Yes.  When you are old enough to remain up after a feast, you will see the Hall of Fire filled with elves of all ages, all intently listening to stories.  They are the kind of stories like Ada tells you…stories from the days of the Alliance between elves and men, stories from the Shire and of Dwarves and their great caves.  Have you missed Ada’s stories, little brother?”

 

Estel’s eyes dropped and he nodded sadly.  Elrohir gave him a quick squeeze. 

 

“Well, the next time your head touches your own pillow, you will hear a story from Ada.  He has missed them as much as you.”

 

“He has?”

 

“Very much.  Now for my story.”

 

“Once upon a time…”  Elrohir paused to exchange a grin with his brother - thinking how long it had been since the child had grinned at all - and to wish his twin and their adar could see it, too.

 

“Once upon a time there was a very wise and loving elf.  He had lived a long time and he had loved his parents and his brother and his wife.  Even though they loved him as well, they all left Middle Earth.”

 

“Was the elf sad?”

 

“He was very sad, even though he had children who loved him and whom he loved, much of the time his heart was filled with sorrow.  Then one day, something very special happened.  His sons came home from battle with someone very special.”

 

“Was it a dog?” 

 

“No, Estel, it was a small child.  A human child.  The elves too the child into their family and the wise and loving elf’s heart was so filled with love and joy at the presence of his new son that he was almost never ever sad at all.”  Pushing thoughts of what his father would say about the rest of the story to the back of his mind, the dark-haired elf continued his story. 

 

“For six years, the boy lived with the elf and his sons and they all loved each other very much.  But the young elflings did not know the boy and his kind heart the way his family did.  Many times, because of their ignorance, they said things that hurt the boy.  His family, who loved him, saw this and they were sad.  They wanted him to have friends his own age, so they took him to the home of a human the elf’s older sons knew well, so he could play with the man’s son.”

 

“Elrohir-“

 

“Shh, Estel.  Let me finish.  The boy was only gone for two days and one night – barely a drop of time to an elf – but the house was quiet and empty without the young boy.  The elf was so worried about his son that he could not work, but he was happy that his son was making a new friend and he could hardly wait to hear all the stories the boy would tell when he returned home.

 

But when the child arrived, he was quiet.  He no longer challenged his instructors with countless questions or helped the cooks in the kitchen or ran through the house.  He no longer wanted to spend time with his brothers and he no longer wished his father to tell him stories at bedtime.

 

The elves were very worried, especially the adar.  They had sent the boy to visit other humans to make him happy, but he was no longer happy with **them** and he would tell none of them what troubled him.  So the elves decided that he no longer wished to live with them because he wanted to be with the humans-“

 

“Ro!”

 

“Shh, Estel.”  Elrohir placed two fingers gently against his younger brother’s lips and continued his story.  “So the father woke his older sons one morning and said he had sent a messenger to the man, saying his three sons were coming to visit.  He told his older sons that he wanted more than anything for his little boy to be happy again.  He said the boy must always be safe, too, so he was sending his other sons, the boy’s brothers, to live nearby that they might always be there to protect him. And then the wife and loving elf would be left alone in his house and his heart was once more filled with sorry.  But it did not matter to him because what was important to him was his little boy’s happiness.  So he quietly packed all of his youngest son’s favorite things and he had the boy’s pony made ready so he would not be separated from it because he loved it so.  Then he hugged each of his sons and waved goodbye.  Only when they were far enough away that the boy could not see did he allow himself to drop to his knees in tears.”  Elrohir knew neither he nor Elladan would ever forget that sight.  It had taken a major force of will on their parts to hold their own tears at bay for Estel’s sake.

 

Drawing himself back to the present, he found Estel standing before him, his small hands were on the twin’s shoulders and he was pulling with all his might. 

 

“Get up, Ro.  Get up!  We have to go now!”

 

“Very well, little brother.  Mount your pony.”

 

“No.  I want to ride with you.  We need to hurry.  Gwanunig can find his own way home!”

 

“Estel?”

 

“I have to see Ada now!  Please, Ro?”

 

Elrohir cringed mentally.  Elrond was going to be livid.  Then a small smile touched the elf’s face.  It would be worth it.

 

Is It Really Home, Sweet Home for Estel?  Part 4 of 4

 

Elrond was just coming out of his study when the front door of  the Last Homely House burst open with such force that it slammed back against the wall.  The sound resonated through the structure, bringing the elf lord’s gaze abruptly to the cause of the disturbance. 

 

“Ada, Ada!”  The boy was running toward his father as though being chased by wargs.

 

“Estel?”  The elf moved swiftly to meet his youngest, knelt and swept him into his embrace.  He tried to examine the young one for injuries at the same time he looked to the door for his elven sons…and found only one.  Elrohir’s smile relieved his concerns about Elladan’s well-being and the exam showed no injuries on the human. 

 

Estel pulled back from his father’s chest so he could look into his face.  “I do not want to live with Lucas’ family.  I want to stay here with you and Ro and Dan.”

 

“He thought we were sending him away because we no longer wanted him.  I believe he understands the situation better now.  Elladan went ahead to Broryl’s to tell them of the change of plans so they would not worry.  Estel wanted to see his ada, so here we are.”

 

“Oh, ion nin, I am so glad to see you.  Of course we want you here.  You are my son and a brother to the twins.  We only wanted you to be happy.  The house is not the same without you.”

 

“Elrohir explained it to me.”

 

“Now that we have cleared up our misunderstanding, perhaps you would enjoy going to Lucas’ with the twins for a short visit.”

 

Before Elrond completed the sentence, Estel was shaking his head.  “Maybe someday, but…”  The child’s brows came together as he thought about exactly what he wanted to say.  “You say it is not nice to say bad things about people and Broryl is Dan and Ro’s friend…He was nice to me and they tried to make me feel at home, but I didn’t like it.  I want to be here with all of you.  I promise I will try harder in class and ask a lot of questions and I will help cook and I wish to begin bedtime stories again and I will listen really hard to them.” 

 

As Estel stopped to take a breath, Elrond heard the twin mutter “…listened well enough to mine.”  At his father’s raised brow, Elrohir dropped his gaze to the floor. 

 

“You do not have to promise to do anything, Estel, other than to tell me or one of your brother’s if something is bothering you.  Does that seem fair?”

 

Estel graced his father with a huge smile.  “Yes, Ada.  I love you.”

 

“I love you, ion nin.”  The elf lord rose with the child still in his arms.  It has been a long time since Estel had permitted him this, but now he placed his head on his father’s shoulder and stretched his arms about the elf’s neck.  Elrohir joined them, placing a kiss on his father’s brow and a hand on his brother’s arm.

 

“So, little brother, what about your visit with Broryl’s family?  Was there nothing that you enjoyed?  Did you like Lucas?”

 

“Oh, yes.  I liked Lucas and his little sister.  Her name is Toya.  But their naneth is going to have another baby…Lucas hopes it is a boy and Toya wants it to be a girl…and I do not think she is happy.  Do you think she is okay, Ada?”

 

“I am sure she is, Estel, or Broryl would have said something to one of your brother’s about it.  He knows they are healers.  It is not unusual for a woman expecting a child to be easily tired.”

 

“I guess.  She worked hard.  She cooked and cleaned and washed clothes.  Lucas and I gathered wood for the fire and we dried the dishes after she washed them.  But I’m not sure it really helped.”

 

“It sounds very helpful.  Why do you think it was not?”

 

“We dropped wood chips on her clean floor.  She did not say anything to me but she told Broryl **his**  son made a mess of her clean floor.  Lucas turned really red and said he would clean it up, but she said she would do it since he had a guest.  I said I could help, but she said we could best help by going outside until dinner was ready.”

 

As Elrond turned this over in his mind he tried to get his son to speak of a different part of his visit without feeling he was saying ‘bad things’ about his new friend and his family.  “I imagine Lucas’ naneth is a good cook.” 

 

“Oh, yes, Ada.  The food was very good.  And they thanked the Valar, just like you do.”

 

Elrond smiled with pleasure at that information.

 

“But…”

 

“But what, Estel?”

 

“Well, Toya spilled her mile – it was an accident, but her naneth smacked her hand  and scolded her and Toya cried and …”

 

“Did it frighten you, Estel?”  Never had an elf raised a hand to **his** child, not even the elflings.  It was unlikely Estel had ever seen anyone ‘smacked’ before.  Smacked…Estel had learned a new word while visiting his new friend and Elrond did not like how he had learned it.

 

“No, but it made me sad.  I do not think Toya enjoyed her meal after that, but they made her eat every bite.  I was afraid she would be sick, but she was not.”

 

“Not everyone is as blessed as we are, Estel.  Milk may be hard for them to obtain and food is not always plentiful.”  The elf lord did not approve of the human’s method of discipline, but he could understand their desire to teach their children not to be wasteful.  It would not do for Estel to believe Elrond disliked the man and his family.  One day, Estel would live in the world of men and it was not too early to begin preparing him.

 

“I know.  They did not have as much as we do – but I did not mind and I ate everything, even though my stomach felt funny after Toya’s naneth punished her.”

 

“I am very proud of you, my son.  Did anything else trouble you?”

 

“They do not listen to Lucas and Toya, Ada.  Not really listen.  I was sad for them, but I am glad for me, because you are my ada and I am home!  I wish everyone could have you for an adar!”

 

“I am very fortunate to be blessed with such special children.  I am sure Broryl and his wife feel the same about their children.  Now is simply a trying time for them.  After the new baby is born, I think we will all visit them.  You wish to see if it is a boy or a girl, do you not?”

 

“Oh, yes, Ada.  If you go, I know everything will be alright.”

 

The elf lord cast a concerned look at Elrohir.  After all he had done for his little brother, Elrond did not want him to be hurt by Estel’s words.  Elrohir simply smiled and placed an arm around his father’s waist.  “Fear not, Ada.  He is only saying what Elladan and I have known all along.” 

 

The two elves and a human spoke quietly as they made their way to the kitchen.  Tomorrow, Elladan would return to Rivendell and things would return to normal.  And the House of Elrond would once again be home, sweet home for Estel.

 

End

 

A/N  This fiction began with my desire to show some of the difference Estel might see in human families as opposed to the ways of the elves.  I don’t think I presented that part well, but I felt it needed to be included.  Whether I made my point or not, I leave to you to decide.  At least I think the end is fluffy enough.     :D     nautika