Grin and Bare it

·         T

 

Would you like to go swimming this afternoon with Legolas, Gimli and myself while the weather is so fine?” Aragorn enquired of Faramir as they were about to go to lunch after an especially arduous Council Meeting that morning.

Faramir hesitated; he enjoyed swimming but had only ever done so alone with Boromir.

Although he felt more confident, now his old scars had faded, he was embarrassed at the idea of disrobing completely in front of others.

Aragorn, guessing the reason for his hesitation, added. ”I know of a pleasant secluded spot and there is no need to disrobe completely. Given the positions we hold we have to be careful how we are seen.”

Faramir smiled that the other could read him so well.” I think I will then, thank you. It will be pleasant to relax for a while away from the paperwork. My new secretary insists on tidying everything away which means it takes twice as long to find whatever I am working on!”

Aragorn smiled ruefully. “Why are good secretaries or rather secretaries that suit us so hard to find? I am glad you will come with us later, the water should be most refreshing at this time of year.” The King clapped Faramir on the shoulder.

 

Legolas and Gimli were paying a brief visit to Minas Tirith on their way to the Elf’s home to Mirkwood .As they was due to depart on the morrow; Aragorn had invited them to join the swimming party, so they could spend the last day of their visit together.

Legolas was eager to go but the dwarf declined the invitation saying, “Swimming was all very well for fishes but not for dwarfs.”

They rode down the levels of the city and across the Pelennor to the River Anduin at a leisurely pace, enjoying the summer sunshine. The people going about their business in the streets cheered their King, his Steward and the handsome Elven prince as they passed by.

Aragorn smiled and waved as the people cried “Hail to the King and his Steward!” Faramir smiled shyly in response to their adoration. Even after almost two and a half years, it still felt strange to him to hold his father’s title.

He often wondered what Denethor would think if he could see him now. He knew Boromir would be proud of his success but his father had always been impossible to please and he was certain he would just be waiting for him to make some dreadful mistake.

Faramir inwardly vowed that was not going to happen, as he was conscientious in performing his duties and he was determined never to disappoint his King who had given him so much.

They reached a pleasant secluded spot by the river and desiring privacy for their swim, Aragorn dismissed the guards, telling them to enjoy a free afternoon. He loved Minas Tirith but after so many years in the wild, sometimes it felt like a cage to him and he needed to get out into the open countryside.

Often he would go riding, usually with Faramir at his side, now Arwen was pregnant though the Steward having spent most of his life in the City would tease his King about his ambivalent attitude towards it, which Aragorn took in good part.

They tethered the horses and as soon as the guards had gone, sought the cover of some bushes and started to undress, shedding their tunics, shirts and breeches and placing them in a heap by the side of the river with their towels on top.

Legolas, with the supreme confidence of the Eldar, swiftly removed all his garments and stretched his lithe body under a tree as he waited for the others. The dappled sunlight only served to emphasise the lean contours of his body and perfect skin.

He laughed as Aragorn and Faramir, both naturally modest and rather shy, made their way to the water’s edge, still clad in their drawers. They cautiously dipped their toes in the river, testing the temperature.

He ran past them and dived in, graceful as a seabird, and seemingly oblivious to the chill of the water.

“The water is pleasant today. Hurry up undressing and come on in!”

“We are undressed!” Aragorn replied as he slid into the water, closely followed by Faramir, who was relieved not to be the sole brunt of Legolas’ teasing.

“You mortals are so shy!” The Elf teased.” Maybe it is because you lack our perfection?”

Aragorn’s only reply was to duck him under the surface. Having grown up with elves, he was accustomed to their flawless skin and perfectly proportioned bodies and felt no envy, though his own shyness had developed from being compared with such perfection and found wanting.

He should still remember being teased over a spot on his nose when he was about fourteen, as no elf ever suffered from such an unsightly affliction. Much as he loved elves, it had not been easy being so different from those around him as he grew to maturity. The day he had started to grow a beard, had been the most traumatic of his young life, as it had marked him out as irrevocably different from his foster family.

Faramir kicked out from the shallows. He was fine swimmer and had used to enjoy swimming here near the same spot with his brother. He still missed Boromir and always would, yet he had found happiness again now in the brotherly companionship of his King and his marriage to Eowyn. He wondered if Boromir were watching from the afterlife and smiling at how well his little brother had done.

Legolas emerged spluttering and met Aragorn’s laughing eyes.

“We mortals can hardly bear to see your brilliance!” he teased.” I meanwhile must maintain my dignity as King for what if a subject were to bow to me unclad? They would not know where to look!”

Legolas tossed his now sodden golden locks and dived under again, pulling the King down with him. Faramir swam towards them and joined in the fun.

Wearying faster than the immortal elf, Aragorn and Faramir clambered on the bank for a short rest, while Legolas circled round, as at home in the water as a fish.

Faramir was unable to resist watching him as all his life he had been curious about the Eldar and had never in his wildest dreams have ever expected to be in such close proximity to them.

He realised that their perfection was no myth, though to a human eye the smooth hairlessness of their skin appeared somewhat strange. Not for the first time, Faramir wondered how Aragorn must have felt growing up amongst such as these and decided to ask him when he had the chance.

Tiring of watching Legolas’ acrobatics, Faramir leaned back against a tree stretching out his arms and playfully chasing the dragonflies with his fingers as they whirled overhead. It was a perfect summer’s afternoon .It was hard to believe they were only a short distance from the city as the only sign of civilisation was a herd of goats grazing nearby .Of the goatherd, there was no sign. The King wondered if he were playing truant by swimming too, further downstream from them.

Aragorn sighed with contentment. It gladdened his heart to see Faramir healed, confident, and contented.

It seemed that once Aragorn had healed the physical scars of Faramir’s old life, the mental scars had faded too and the Steward had finally come into his own, much to his King’s joy. At long last, Faramir was relaxed, healthy and enjoying the happiness he had long deserved.

Faramir dived in again, calling “Come on in again unless you are too worn out!”

“Youth has no respect for their elders nowadays!” Aragorn teased as he dived in beside him. Although he was now ninety years old, a passer by would have taken the two men to be much of an age.

“I will race you to the far bank!” Legolas challenged, setting off at a fast pace. The others followed, though they had no chance of catching the swift elf.

They clambered out on the other bank and saw the sun was starting to sink.

“I think it is time we returned to the city,” said Aragorn. The others agreed, but loath to leave the refreshing water, all three swam back slowly.

The goats had come down almost to the water’s edge.

“They must be thirsty. ” Legolas commented.

“Or hungry. ” Faramir added. ”They seem to be grazing.”

Aragorn was the first to leave the water. He reached for his towel. It had vanished, as had his clothes.

Aragorn looked more closely at the goats and suddenly realised what they were eating.

“You are not having these too!” He yelled as a bearded Billy goat made a grab for the leg of his drawers. The animal retreated, carrying a piece of the fabric in his mouth.

“What has happened?” Faramir asked anxiously, as he scrambled out of the water.

“The goats appear to have eaten our clothes and towels.” the King replied grimly.” It even took my white tree!” He gestured to the torn leg of his drawers where before there had been an embroidered White Tree of Gondor, one of his few vanities.

“No!” Legolas cried, scampering after a goat, which had a piece of his tunic hanging from its mouth but by the time he had reached the animal it had devoured the cloth completely.

“They have bitten through the ropes and the horses have strayed! ” Faramir announced, unable to conceal the rising panic in his voice.

“They cannot have gone far.” Aragorn tried to sound soothing. "Roheryn is Elvish and they are very loyal to their masters."

Legolas returned from his futile chase, looking totally dejected.” Whatever am I going to do? ” He wailed.” I suppose one of you wouldn’t lend me… ”

Faramir blanched. He had a great admiration and respect for the Eldar, but the prospect of walking back to Minas Tirith stark naked was the stuff of his worse nightmares.

“The King and the Steward of Gondor have their dignity to maintain. Maybe the goatherd will return and be able to help us.” Aragorn said firmly, placing a protective hand on Faramir’s shoulder.

 “Very well.” Legolas sighed .He wandered back to the bank to look for something to cover himself with and alighted upon some gigantic leaves which he started to gather.

“Do not touch those!” Aragorn called. ” They are poisonous and cause a painful rash!”

“To mortals maybe but surely not for elves?” Legolas dismissed his concerns airily.

” I have not seen an Elf affected, but then these plants do not grow in the Elven realms.” Aragorn conceded.

Legolas walked back up the back, clutching a bouquet of the giant leaves round his middle. He brushed his long golden hair back from his face with his free hand.

“You worry too much, Aragorn. “he said, ”These leaves will serve as covering until we find something better. I think they are just the right size to cover me.”

“Bad goats come back!” a shout heralded the belated appearance of the goatherd, a young boy of about eleven summers. He was roughly but more than adequately clad in rough breeches, a tunic and a cloak

Legolas ducked behind Aragorn at the boy’s appearance, while Faramir shivered and crossed his arms defensively across his chest.

The boy stopped when he saw them and stared with eyes wide as saucers.

“Please could you help us? ” Aragorn asked politely.” We need some of your clothes from you, we will pay of course!”

The boy looked him up and down for a mere second them with a piercing scream fled.

Aragorn sighed with dismay.” I fear he misunderstood our predicament. Either that or he took some of the clothing himself as it was a lot for goats to devour!” he said. “Come we had better try and find our horses and someone who will help us.”

They started to run across the Pelennor .The meadows were green again after the carnage of the battle fought there, maybe made even more lush now they were fertilised with the blood of so many. The only reminder of what had occurred was a bare patch where the remains of the fell beast had been burned and nothing would grow on that spot now.

Aragorn and Faramir soon found themselves tiring, for although both had spent many years wandering in the wild, they had little such exercise since Aragorn had become King. Their pace slackened and they walked in dejected silence with Legolas bringing up the rear, for although the elf was tireless, he preferred to stay close to his human companions in his current predicament.

Much to their relief eventually they reached a farmhouse where a plump young woman was hanging some washing out on a clothesline. Their eyes brightened at the sight of several shirts, a pair of breeches, and some bed sheets.

“Stay behind us! ” Aragorn instructed Legolas as the three made their way to the woman. He was blushing scarlet at the prospect of letting a woman see him so inadequately clad, while Faramir’s expression suggested that had he not been loyal to Aragorn he would have turned and fled. As it was he stood huddled miserably, trying to cover himself with his arms.

“Your pardon, Lady, but we wondered if you would help us, as we are in dire need of your clothing. “ Aragorn said politely, gesturing towards the washing line.

The woman reacted by giving him a resounding slap across the face.

“How dare you, you impudent knave!” She shrieked. “Be gone or I’ll set the dogs on you! I hoped now the King has returned that things would get better here, but they have gone worst! ”

“But Madam, I am the King.” Aragorn said with as much dignity as he could muster, as he rubbed his reddening cheek before crossing his arms defensively across his bare chest.

“King indeed, a lunatic more like!” She snapped. “ Obviously the three of you have escaped from the asylum. You need locking up forever!”

Much to their dismay, she snatched her washing from the line and ran inside, slamming the door behind her.

“We should have waited and helped ourselves to the washing when she had gone. “ Faramir said woefully. “We could have paid for it later. Has she hurt you? “

Aragorn rubbed his face ruefully.

“ It could have been worse, she could have punched me in the eye! Whatever did I say to upset her so?”

“You asked for her clothes. ” Faramir answered with a mirthless laugh, I think she thought you meant what she wore, not the washing!”

Aragorn flushed slightly at the implication.

“ How dare she strike you that is treason? Whatever can we do now?” Faramir lamented.

“ I can hardly blame the poor woman, she could hardly recognise me in only my drawers and we must have frightened her.” Aragorn replied.

He looked around him and spied a mill a short distance away.

“Let us try that mill. “ He suggested.

They set up at a fair pace, Legolas having to slow down to keep up with the two humans. He had now wedged himself between Aragorn and Faramir as the leaves were starting to wilt and he had lost several of them on the way. Both men were wary though and did their best not to get close enough for the leaves to touch their skin.

The mill door was open and much to Aragorn and Faramir’s delight, a pile of flour sacks were neatly folded behind the door. They picked them up and started tearing holes in them to make makeshift clothing.

“Just what we need!” Faramir sighed with relief, as he was cold as well as miserable and embarrassed by their plight.

“What use are flour sacks? ” asked Legolas. ”We need clothing!”

“We can wear them. “ Aragorn was already pulling one over his head. Like Faramir he was starting to feel cold and his flesh was covered with goose bumps.

“These? ” the Elf was horrified. “But the material is so coarse!”

Aragorn had already torn a strip off a second sack. He then made a hole in the bottom of it, stepped into it, and secured it round his waist. The outfit was far from being either elegant or comfortable, but it was at least decent.

Faramir had likewise made a similar outfit for himself.

“Can’t one of you at least let me borrow your drawers now?” Legolas pleaded.

“We itch as much as you, maybe more so as we are mere mortals! “ Aragorn retorted. “You had better put on a sack or remain naked and treat the citizens of Minas Tirith to a glimpse of your elven perfection! ”

“Mortals would be unable to appreciate elven beauty! ” Legolas retorted as he reluctantly followed the others’ example. “It itches. “he moaned as the sackcloth irritated his fair flesh.

“ And just what do you think you are doing! ” A plump middle-aged man, with greying hair and beard entered the mill, his face flushed with anger. “Stealing my flour sacks, I’ll report you to the King’s justices!”

“We will recompense you fully, Master Miller. “ Aragorn said. “I am the King.”

The Miller threw back his head and laughed.

“King indeed! “ He snorted. “How can you be the King? If you were, you would be wearing fine silks and velvets not sackcloth stolen from me! “ He gestured towards Faramir.” I suppose you’ll be claiming next that this ragamuffin is the Lord Steward?”

” I am actually.” Faramir looked as if he wished the ground would open and swallow him.” We were swimming and some goats …”

“Be off with you!” The Miller snapped, quickly suppressing his laugher.” If I catch you still here when my wife returns from market, you will be very sorry! I’m not listening to any more lies or slandering the good name of our King!”

The three sackcloth clad companions fled sheepishly from the mill leaving the Miller staring after them. They were obviously lunatics and yet there was something about the eldest man that intrigued him, it was as if he had an almost regal air about him, despite his appearance, something, which had stopped him from giving the impudent fellow a sound thrashing. Shaking his head at such thoughts, the Miller tidied up the scattered pile of sacks.

Aragorn and Faramir felt slightly more relaxed now they had acquired some clothing, however makeshift, while Legolas complained incessantly about how the rough sacking chafed his fair skin. It seemed a very long way back to the city.

“Look! “ cried Legolas suddenly. “There are our horses! “

They craned their necks in the direction the Elf pointed and could just make out three specks on the horizon.

“They’ve strayed into a hayfield! ” Legolas explained, his keen elven eyesight noting the details.

“Iavas loves fresh hay! It will be difficult to retrieve them. “Faramir groaned.

Aragorn gave his companions an enigmatic smile and then raised two fingers to his lips and gave a piercing whistle, paused for a moment and then whistled again.

Faramir regarded Aragorn doubtfully. Surely losing his clothes had not caused him to lose his wits as well? By contrast, Legolas, having unlimited faith in the King’s abilities, waited hopefully, certain that Aragorn knew what he was doing, however odd it might appear.

“They are coming!” Legolas said joyfully, as the horses started galloping towards them.

“However did you do that? ” Faramir asked.

“ I still remember a few tricks I learned as a Ranger. “ Aragorn grinned as he swung himself up upon Roheryn’s broad back.

“We never learned that in Ilithien” Faramir told him, as he mounted Iavas, patting the chestnut’s neck as he settled himself in the saddle.

Meanwhile, Legolas had realised there was no way he could ride astride, without incurring the mirth of the populace, not to mention breaking several laws regarding public decency and breaching the peace so he had to mount side-saddle and ride like a lady, a feat he found took some mastering as he had never sat on a horse in such a manner before. It took all his Elven agility just to keep his balance.

Faramir and Aragorn struggled to contain their mirth.

“Your golden locks are even fairer than my wife’s!” Faramir chortled.

“ Don’t let your Lady hear you saying that or you will be wearing sackcloth for a long time to come!” Aragorn teased, ignoring the Elf’s furious expression.

They urged the horses towards the city gates and were there within minutes only to be halted by the stern faced Guard.

“What have we here?” he asked. “Vagabonds on stolen horses!”

“We own these horses.” Aragorn said coldly. He was weary, cold and itching from wearing the sackcloth. All he wanted now was a hot bath and some comfortable clothing.

The Guard shook his head.
”Those are fine beasts, fit for the King and his Nobles, not for the likes of you!” He drew his sword and levelled it at Aragorn’s chest. “I’m arresting you in the name of the King!”

“I am the King.” Aragorn’s tone was at its most commanding as he glared at the Guard.” Release us this instant!”

The Guard flinched at the authority in Aragorn’s voice but continued undeterred. “I’ve no time for your impudence, you rascal! You cannot be the King, not dressed like that! I saw him at his coronation and he wore finery that a ragamuffin like you couldn’t imagine in your dreams!”

Aragorn groaned inwardly, he was cold weary and uncomfortable and was in no mood for a lengthy argument. The prospect of being locked in a cell and hoping someone would be allowed to identify him was growing alarming. They could overpower the Guard, but the King was reluctant to harm someone who was only doing their job.

He was about to urge Roheryn into a gallop and hope the others had the wits to follow, when he remembered he was wearing the Ring of Barahir, the heirloom of the Heirs of Isildur.

“Do you recognise this ring?” he asked the man.

The Guard shook his head. “It looks as if you stole that too!” he said grimly.

“Send for the Captain of the Tower Guard!” Aragorn ordered. “He will know this ring and its owner!” He could only hope that whoever was on duty would recognise him or Faramir in such unorthodox attire.

He was becoming increasingly worried, especially about his companions. Faramir had endured so much in the past that Aragorn feared being locked in the dungeons could badly damage his newly acquired self-confidence. Then there was Legolas, a woodland Elf, one of a species attuned to Nature, who might react very badly if confined in a stone walled cell.

The man hesitated, he had a good mind to march these ruffians through the street to the dungeons, but it was a long walk and he was due to be relieved soon. Then what was to be done with the horses?

Aragorn, Faramir and Legolas could only wait and endure the stares and titters of the passers by. A queue was building up behind them impatiently waiting to enter the city.

“Whatever do you three, think you are doing?”

Aragorn heard a familiar and querulous voice, shouting almost in his ear.

“Dame Ioreth!” He was so relieved to see her that he could have kissed her!

“If that is your idea of the latest fashion, Lord Elfstone, I am not impressed!” Ioreth said tartly.” You look like beggars and ought to be ashamed of yourself encouraging Lord Faramir to dress like that to go out riding!” She turned to Faramir, ”As for you, young man, your father would be ashamed of you to see you looking like this! He had his faults, did Lord Denethor, but he did at least see his sons were properly dressed!”

Faramir opened his mouth to protest but before he could do so, Ioreth continued,

“I just don’t know what this city is coming to! Highborn Lords riding around wearing sackcloth! I don’t care if it’s some new fashion or even a new fangled religion, but it is not at all seemly. Maybe it’s the fault of the Elf, I never could abide them, you cannot tell what gender they are! I thought this one was male, but as it rides like a maid, it must be a she!

Legolas turned the colour of a beetroot.

“Dame Ioreth, I assure you that.” Aragorn began but was promptly interrupted.

“And why is there such a queue at the city gates, I would like to know? It was never like this in Lord Denethor’s time! I’ve spent a long tiring day visiting my cousin from Lossarnach, who is staying at a farm near here. And I want to get home and put my feet up not stand here talking. Why my cousin was telling me…”

Aragorn gently but firmly placed his hand over her mouth to stem the ceaseless flow. She glared at him with a look, which would have proved fatal if looks could kill.

“ My pardon, Dame Ioreth but I want to put to put my feet up too but cannot get a word in edgeways!”

Seeing the Guard advancing menacing, he removed his hand, only just in time to avoid being bitten, he guessed.

“Please, Dame Ioreth, tell the Guard, who were are, then we can all be on our way!” he pleaded.

“Is that ruffian annoying you, madam?” asked the Guard.

Aragorn held his breath.

“Yes, he is.” she replied.”

Aragorn sighed. It looked as if the prospect of shedding the sackcloth followed by a warm bath and a meal were receding into a distant prospect.

“But he is no ruffian and should know better!” Ioreth continued. “That is the King himself, Lord Elfstone, and the Steward, Lord Faramir and one of those elves that the Lord Elfstone seems to favour!”

A look of horror spread over the Guard’s face as he dropped to his knees.

“My Lord King, forgive me, I did not know!” he gasped.

“ Rise! You were only doing your duty.” Aragorn said without rancour.” Now will you be so kind as to lend me your cloak? I will see that it is returned to you.”

The man rose to his feet, and with trembling fingers, unfastened his cloak and handed it to the King.

Aragorn immediately passed it to Faramir. “You had better take this, as you have been known far longer than I in this city!” he said, knowing that Faramir was probably the most upset by the day’s events.

“There is no need, he can have my cloak!” Ioreth volunteered surprisingly, handing the garment to the Steward.

“Why, thank you!” Faramir was touched by the usually fierce old woman’s kindness.

“It is a warm day, I will get home all the faster without!” She said briskly.” Now don’t you dare ride around the streets like this again, whatever that Lord Elfstone says! You will catch cold, and then who will have to tend you?”

“I promise I will dress properly in future.” Faramir said meekly, as he wrapped the grey woollen cloak closely round him.

“Has no one a cloak for the Elf?” Ioreth demanded loudly.” Decent folks like us, don’t want to see it riding through the streets like that!”

A man, who looked like a rich merchant came forward and offered Legolas his fur trimmed garment much to the Elf’s grateful relief.

“All the cloaks will be returned.” Aragorn promised in a voice all could hear as the Guard opened the city gates and let them through.

They urged the horses to a trot and rode without stopping through the city streets. To their great relief, the citizens failed to recognise them.

Aragorn and his companions managed to enter the royal apartments unnoticed, using a secret way that Faramir knew from his childhood. They were anxious to avoid their wives until they looked presentable, knowing the ladies would tease them mercilessly if they were spotted sporting sackcloth. They parted and went their several ways, promising to meet for dinner once bathed and changed.

After a hot bath and now dressed in fine woollen breeches and a velvet tunic, Aragorn was about to enquire whether Arwen and his guests were ready for dinner when Gimli hurried up to him, an expression of great anxiety on his face.

“Please come quickly as Legolas feels most unwell and is unable to even dress for dinner! I have never seen him like this before! What if the poor wee Elf is dying?”

Aragorn raced to Legolas’ room, closely followed by the panting dwarf. He knocked on the door and on getting no reply, entered and approached the bed where he discovered the Elf lying on top of the covers, dressed only in a loose nightshirt.

A painful and unsightly looking red blotch across his cheek disfigured his fair features. Legolas struggled to sit up as his friend approached but fell back against the pillows with a groan.

“What ails you, Mellon Nin?” Aragorn asked, although he already thought he knew the answer.” I was told you were unable to dress to come to dinner.”

“Those leaves, I fear you were right!” Legolas replied.” I feel as if my skin is on fire, it is too painful to endure anything rubbing against it!”

“Why didn’t you tell me about the leaves, Master Elf?” Gimli exclaimed, “I thought you were dying from some dreadful poison!”

Aragorn placed his hand on the Elf’s forehead.” You do not have a fever.” He pronounced.” The rash produces a painful burning sensation, though it affects humans slightly differently. Their symptoms take a few hours longer to develop. Luckily, I have a salve, which should help. Where is the rash?”

Legolas flushed slightly and held out his hands without much conviction.” Here, where I touched it. ” He replied. ” And on my face.”

Aragorn carefully applied the salve to the Elf’s reddened palms and fingers, trying to suppress a wry smile. He then waited patiently for Legolas to elaborate further. A long uncomfortable silence followed, during which, Legolas shifted uneasily on the bed and winched

“And where else?” the King asked finally to end the Elf’s torment.

“It is rather embarrassing.” Legolas sputtered.

“Unless you will show me, I cannot tend you, so if you would prefer I take my leave?” Aragorn gathered up the jar of salve and pretended to make for the door.

“If you don’t tell him, I will!” Gimli exclaimed, placing himself in front of the door. “I have noticed where you have been scratching, Master Elf!”

“Maybe if you were to take a little walk?” Aragorn suggested to Gimli, ”The gardens are pleasant at this time of year.”

“And of what interest are flowers to dwarfs?” Gimli huffed indignantly, “We don’t go around smelling them like yon prissy Elf and a fine mess it’s left him in!”

“I meant that I need to ….” Aragorn bent to whisper in Gimli’s ear. The dwarf laughed out loud.

“I hardly think so, the laddie is fond of taking off all his clothes and jumping in the river to bathe in front of me when we are journeying together. He even suggests I should join him, just think of the damage it would do to my beard, not to mention anything else! A dwarf and his garments are not easily parted and that makes more sense than going diving in freezing cold rivers and getting a nasty rash as result!”

“The river was not the cause of it. It was some poisonous leaves.” Aragorn explained patiently.

“Well it would never have happened it he had kept his clothes on. A dwarf would never …”

The chatter was making Legolas aching head feel worse “Stay, please!” he interjected halting Gimli’s endless chatter.

With surprising tact, Gimli smiled at his friend and went across the room to look out of the window, where he remained standing as Aragorn approached the bed.

Blushing scarlet, Legolas reluctantly pulled his nightshirt up to above his waist, revealing large areas of red and blistered skin between waist and thigh marring the otherwise perfect elven skin.

With the calm detachment of an experienced healer, Aragorn applied the salve in liberal amounts, plastering it thickly over the affected areas.

Legolas sighed as the cooling ointment took effect.

“Turn over!” Aragorn instructed him.

This is so mortifying! “ Legolas wailed as his friend continued to tend him.

Glad that Legolas couldn’t see the expression of barely suppressed mirth on his face Aragorn asked with mock gravity.” I thought Elves were so perfect they had no need to be shy and delighted in revealing their perfection? You implied only this afternoon modesty was a trait only mortals shared!”

Unable to think of a good answer, Legolas changed the subject.” Why do mortals grow such plants?” He asked

“ They do not as it grows wild in the lands of the Harad.” Aragorn told him.” Most likely, their soldiers brought the seeds here during the war.

He finished applying the salve, smoothed down the Elf’s nightshirt, and went over to where a basin and ewer stood on a table near the bed and poured some water into the basin to wash his hands.

“Is the poison deadly? My skin feels as if it is about to fall off! Am I going to die?” Legolas groaned.

Aragorn calmly dried his hands and started to mix some herbs in a goblet of wine.

“I have been stung with it many times and I live still!” he told the Elf.” It should be much better by morning and you should be able to return to Mirkwood as you planned for you have the fast healing abilities of the Eldar.”

“I will never be able to sit on a horse!” Legolas moaned.” Then how can I let anyone see me, my looks are ruined!”

“You can of course stay longer, if you wish.” Aragorn replied handing him the goblet.” Drink this; it will help you get some rest! I think though, you will find you are fully recovered by morning. I will have to go now, as the others are waiting for me to begin dinner. I will have some food sent to you later when you are rested.”

“Don’t leave me, I feel very ill!” Legolas pleaded.

“That is something we mortals often feel!” Aragorn told him.” You have no cause to fear, as you will live! Be comforted.”

“I will stay with him.” Gimli offered, finally losing interest in the view from the window and moving to Legolas’ side.” Please give your Lady my apologies that I cannot come to dinner as yon wee Elf needs a nursemaid!”

Legolas opened his mouth to retort but only a yawn emerged as the sleeping draught started to take effect.

Gimli settled himself by the bedside and patted his friend’s hand, the gesture belying his somewhat scathing comments.

Aragorn drew the coverlet over the unhappy Elf and left to join his wife and friends for dinner. He was going to enjoy relating the latest turn of events to his Steward!

 

When Aragorn entered the dining room of his private apartments, he found his wife together with Faramir and Eowyn already there and waiting for him.

Arwen was now so advanced in her first pregnancy, she had difficulty sitting at the table, though she was in good spirits and chattering to Eowyn in an animated fashion, while Faramir looked on uneasily.

“Eowyn and I have heard such tales from the city today!” she said. ”Three naked madmen are on the loose! It is said they attacked a boy and then a woman and stole all her clothes, then helped themselves to some of the horses from the Royal stables before beating up and robbing a miller!”

“Well I heard they merely stole some sacks from the miller.” Eowyn added,” Then the latest rumour was they escaped wearing stolen cloaks!”

“How are you going to punish these villains when you catch them?” Arwen asked with a gleam in her eye.

“Surely the King won’t let them run amok in the city?” Eowyn commented earnestly.

Aragorn opened his mouth to speak and then closed it again while Faramir blushed scarlet.

“The most interesting thing I heard was the description of the lunatics.” Arwen’s tone was like honey.” I was told two were dark haired with grey eyes, one older and slightly taller than the other, while the third was fair to look upon with long golden locks that any maid would envy! That sounds somewhat familiar!”

“ How strange that my husband should go swimming this afternoon with two that fitted that description !” Eowyn could now barely contain her mirth.

Arwen burst out laughing, not the usual musical laugher of Elves but very human guffaws, which she had obviously learned from Eowyn as the two women shook with helpless mirth.

“If only we could have seen the three of you!” Eowyn roared. “What a sight that would have been!”

“We were not naked, we were wearing our drawers, that is Aragorn and myself were.” Faramir said with as much dignity as he could muster, somewhat ill at ease to be even mentioning underwear in the presence the Queen.

He was fond of Arwen and admired her greatly, but always felt slightly awestruck in the presence of one of the Eldar, even at the best of times.

“How did you find out?” Aragorn asked. He had hoped for some sympathy from his wife, but realised that to an observer, their plight must have seemed hilarious .It was good to see Arwen so cheerful as her advanced pregnancy was starting to dampen her spirits as the delivery time drew nearer.

“Ioreth came to see me and told me most of the story.” Arwen explained once she could control her mirth.” The rest I heard from my maid, whose brother’s wife is the miller’s sister. He had come to report the theft of the flour sacks to the guard and also had spoken to his neighbours. The tale seems to have been embroidered in the telling, though.”

“We never attacked anyone, only asked for some clothing and were forced into stealing some flour sacks when no one would give us any.” Aragorn explained. ”They failed to understand our motives I think!”

“You have certainly entertained us!” Eowyn chortled.

“Though the bruise on your cheek looks painful.” Arwen added.” Though maybe you deserved it from what I have heard!”

“He did not!” Faramir said indignantly.” None of us did anything wrong!”

“Where are Legolas and Gimli?” Arwen asked.” I thought they were joining us.”

“Legolas is weary after all that happened this afternoon and decided to eat in his room and Gimli wanted to stay to keep him company.” Aragorn said diplomatically, to spare the Elf the ladies’ teasing, though he fully intended to tell Faramir the full story, once they were alone.

The next morning, Legolas appeared completely recovered as Aragorn had predicted and no sign of the rash could be seen on his face or hands, and as he sat comfortably upon his horse, it had presumably disappeared from everywhere else as well.

His health and spirits restored, he cheerfully bade Aragorn and Faramir farewell as he set off to visit Mirkwood with Gimli.

The End






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